We’re wrapping up our Money and Abundance series with an important conversation about working through financial trauma and redistributing wealth to support our community.
How we feel about and manage our money is often influenced by our early experiences with money, and some of these experiences can have a lasting impact. Our guest today is Nafasi Ferrell, a Financial Coach certified in the Trauma of Money Method (TOM) where she proudly serves on faculty as a Racial Wealth Gap Educator and facilitator of Black, Indigenous, People of Color (BIPOC) Affinity Spaces.
She is the founder and owner of Narratives Unbound which she founded in 2019 after the passing of her father and after getting her and her husband out of over $30,000 in consumer debt.
Learn how to move through money trauma, break negative generational cycles related to finances, and redistribute wealth in meaningful ways.
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Overcoming Money Trauma Episode Topics:
- How generational trauma impacts our relationship with money.
- The relationship between hoarding and scarcity mindset.
- How to move through financial trauma and embrace abundance.
- The importance of redistributing wealth, and ways we can redistribute wealth in our communities.
Episode 159 Resources:
- Follow @narrativesunbound on Instagram
- Check out Nafasi’s website to learn more about coaching and wealth distribution circles
- Reach Nafasi at email@example.com
- Learn more about the Trauma of Money method
- Take the Money Disorder Assessment
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Episode 159 Transcript
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And to balance black girl I appreciate you joining me at my name is less I am your host,
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and if you're tuning in to this episode on the day it releases it's a very special day starting off the episode a little Tony Tony Tony because it's our anniversary so.
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On my calendar today when this is coming out is October 18th 2022 which means the podcast is turning,
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four years old yes balance black girl is now for
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balanced black girl is a Libra and what a four years it has been so before we get into today's episode I just have to thank everyone who is tuned in who is sent love who has been a part of our community all of the amazing guests we've had on the show over the past four years
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I mean the incredible folks I've had the privilege of talking to my amazing team who support me and make BB G possible.
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Anyone who has helped over the years thank you thank you thank you so many times I,
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I did not know if I would continue if the next week there would even be an episode but we are still here we recently crossed the five million downloads Mark which for a small independent podcast is
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really exciting and I truly have you to thank for being here so
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thank you for listening thank you for sharing thank you for holding me down and let's keep this thing going,
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So today we're wrapping up our money and abundant series and I have to say I really loved this series
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like many people Financial Wellness it wasn't something I was taught especially when it comes to what
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to do you know I think we've all maybe seen examples of
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what not to do but when it comes to being taught what to do I really had to figure that out on my own and adulthood and exploring my own learnings with all of you has been something I've really appreciated.
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Man getting messages from many of you about the changes you've made after listening how you've created budgets or set up a savings plan for your kids or are ordering doordash a little less sir
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open an IRA or negotiate a higher salary like these are all things that you've shared with me that you've done and I'm so happy I'm so excited I love to see it I love to hear it
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even though the series is winding down this will not be the last time we talked about financial well-being so please continue on your journey please continue sharing your wins with me so that I can celebrate with you because that's what we're really here to do,
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now while earlier episodes in this series focused on very tactical elements of financial Wellness like saving investing talking to your partner about money I wanted to make sure we also talked about something really important
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important actually more important than those other things and that is money trauma Financial trauma overcoming it
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it really impacts our attitudes and beliefs around money our decisions our perceptions Financial trauma is very real especially in our community which is notoriously under resource.
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We could make all the money in the world but it doesn't really matter if we aren't doing so from a healed place and,
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having wealth also doesn't mean much if we are unwilling to redistribute it so
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today we're really talking about addressing and working through money trauma for holistic Financial wellness and what it means to redistribute wealth throughout our community for the support of others
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Our Guest today is nafasi Farrell nafasi is a financial coach certified in the trauma of money method where she proudly serves on faculty as a racial wealth Gap educator and facilitator of black indigenous and people of color Affinity spaces
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she is also the founder and owner of narratives Unbound which she founded in 2019 after the passing of her father and after getting her and her husband out of over 30,000 dollars in consumer
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debt in this episode we cover so much we talk about scarcity the sources of scarcity where that comes from how we can overcome feelings of scarcity.
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How Financial trauma can show up in different ways in our lives and how we can move that trauma out of our bodies and out of our habits what it means when you are that person who is changing those patterns because
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don't I know it is hard when you're the person changing that pattern for your family that is a lot of weight to bear and it can be really really challenging and we talked about navigating that
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this is really an episode that is designed to help you feel Affirmed
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and seen and understood and empowered on this really important part of your financial Wellness Journey so let's get into our conversation.
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Nafasi so I would love
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to start off by learning a bit more just about your,
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money story your relationship to money how your relationship to money has evolved thus far in your life.
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I think for me the journey was how do I do in the world yeah rather than.
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Create or manifest stuff yeah right and I'll talk a little about that in a moment but yes thank you for having me I'm from Oakland Calif I mean I'm from wish I was from Oakland
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it's been a lot of my time in Oakland California met my husband and Oakland California he's actually from Dublin but I'm from Altadena California
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I'm from a rich diverse family we are from many lambs growing up I was called a mutt you know whatever that might mean for many different people,
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being a woman of my ancestors that came from Africa came from Ireland came from Spain and all of the traumas and all of the oppressions and all the things that.
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They face and witnessing that,
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in my family I was talking about race I work with the Black Panther Party when I was young and I thought that if we talked about race if we just talked about politics if we just did those things and talked about the past then everything will be fine yeah and I had a
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interesting view of the world growing up that everyone was doing this to that we were all working together to make a better world in our own little way.
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My dad you know my dad grew up poor in Chicago money was.
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My journey was money with my father was one of scarcity the journey with my mother was a one of abundance.
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That there is always enough to the point that you can hoard so I come from a family of extreme hoarding as Financial that's extreme Financial trauma that I'm still facing to overcome with them today,
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but that taught me to live in both worlds I didn't know it yet but I was being primed for the work that I do today and it wasn't really until my father died in 2018 that I woke up to money,
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it was about helping other people and I volunteered you know my time everywhere I volunteer to help young people learn how to read who are behind I had always you know been a creator.
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And I was like wait,
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oh my gosh money right I'd done build a cultural events series and Seattle Community I have done a let's talk race series trying to challenge young people to be leaders and you don't need a degree stand up and show your voice and gather Community you don't need a degree,
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to tell you to do that but I forgot there was a missing piece and I didn't know there was a missing piece to the story and I had to learn that the drama I had to learn that.
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Death is hard and that's the final that's the final to you leave the ER they don't get to come back and we don't talk about it and I didn't know we didn't talk about it
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I didn't know until it was too late and my siblings might you know my half-siblings looked at me and then their 50s like what do we do,
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my primary of managing you know money managing over 250,000 dollars at the time I've been like oh this is this is money.
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This is us and so that made me dig really deep around money and like what's money for me,
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and I got me and my husband on the thirty thousand dollars worth of debt that will let me allow me to look Inward and set us on the path and I have a partner that was like whatever we need to do we need to do Whoever has a skill Whoever has a talent.
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Now he's an immigrant from Mexico he's a dreamer every two years we get you know is he going to have a job or not we've lived that.
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Fear and still have been able to build because we've known that each day.
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There's another day as long as you have another day you have another did a build so that full journey of him having a partner having some some level of stability having that thought partner right and he's going to help me finish my master's program I want to quit,
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what's a piece of paperwork for what's a hundred thousand dollars of debt where the fourth yes and I realized it was the people that the spirit wasn't.
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Yes I there was dead but the spirit was trying to get me to the other human beings that I would be.
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One day and that is money right when trauma money and others we've all but I always talk about money as it's money is us right we come from we create everything out of us we're the only species that has a currency we're the only species that creates and manifests.
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So we are money right and that is come in the form of slavery which every society up until now has determined that we still need one we're still we're still living through it today we'd have not determined we have not built a society that says no slavery yet so everything is built on that oppression.
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In between that,
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and so overcoming and understanding money is of course is the hardest thing removed from us because it's the thing that is us you know I growing up I never talk about money yeah even though my mom always said why do you think a finance class like she's mentioned that I think three days ago and I live for those like.
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Hey listen to you at 18,
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at 31 I would we would have we would have had a lot more resource we don't have a lot more resources to share so I'm burning my father I realized there were basic things that no one knew like a lot of my people didn't know what a 401k wasn't know what a Roth IRA was it didn't,
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they didn't think they had enough to save when saving is every little every it takes a dollar to create a million.
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And you need a seed to make a tree right you need to you need to love go slow over time and I had was naive I really thought everybody knew these things and as I got older and I started managing money and being working government and supporting Community I was like oh these things are lost to us.
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And there the gaps that are not allowing us to be well with one another and so I said if I could do it then others around me have to be able to do it I mean if my husband and I could do it off the 60,000 dollars of the time we really weren't making much together yeah,
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I was like if we can if I can try if I can just try learn,
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YouTube as anti sometimes Tech and what you know Tech me need to really evaluate how we use Tech it saved my life yeah when my community did not know.
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I had something a tool that I could use and that led me up to building you know my business and so that's really the argh up until.
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20:19 when I decided,
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now is the time I met a black woman and we were a coffee and she had built two or three businesses and I was just in awe right now all struggling how did you leave things like cover the community where people just work yeah and you don't build because you don't believe you have the right to build.
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And she was like what are you who wait for and I was like for you to tell me I can.
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Mmm because I needed to see myself yeah I needed to see another entrepreneur that is existing and living flesh not on the internet not an article I read.
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I need to physically see someone.
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And that for me was okay I can take this next step that that I felt was like the door of permission out of.
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There's physical slavery as mental slavery and I feel like there's layers of it that were overcoming and it takes time we don't give yourself enough Grace it takes years you know from now to where I was I've been investing for six years I believe now.
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Six years is people think is a long time it's actually not yeah that all but it's.
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Never investing enough for actually anything compounding takes time to compound your habits your beliefs your dreams,
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and I've been able to see my dream sort of compound over that so that's just you know I'll stop there that's that's the my young till.
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So the Journey of this point in my life began.
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And I wouldn't give any of it up for anything I wouldn't give up any of the challenges I wouldn't give up any of the trauma that I endured as a child living with extreme hoarding.
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Just living in ways that you shouldn't live if you have wealth if you have money if you have enough resource to take care of yourself but you also know I need to know how to deploy those resources my family,
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that is not it does not know how to do that as well as you know drug abuse and other things that just
take you away and deteriorate you.
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So yeah I look back and I'm like okay it was it was worth this journey my young Neva see you can see you know those nuggets of everything you gained from all of those experiences when you reflect back on it.
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Yes and the reflection is so I we I think that we grab it people talk about gratitude but it's deeper than that it's yeah,
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be proud of where you've been,
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because it's greater than you thought it is like where we think we are and where we actually are sometimes is not where we're at I mean that's the biggest thing with my clients because of trauma we can't look at our,
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when we call Financial avoidance or avoidance of disassociation
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once you if you can look at it once you're able to overcome that and calm your nervous system and able to do that you're able to sometimes it's not as murky as it is you thought it was that the story is actually a little bit lighter.
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But we can only do that when we can see ya if we can't see it we can't manifest further,
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building a budget but in what I call I'm calling in abundance plan because people are really scared of the word budget I really scare everybody leave the world better than waiting for this word somehow some way but in your abundance plan it's something that it's yours you get to create you get to change you get to play with.
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That's what saved me I was having to write down every little thing I spend every little thing that we make.
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Right that was just the beginning I was like nobody is telling them to do this I'm just going to do this and start from there because maybe I have something that I can't see because I can't see everything I'm human eye.
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My volunteering in voluntary voluntary and involuntary nervous system and only operates when the wants to and if I'm on the trauma my brain half my brain shuts down right so I know that I need to see it.
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And ever since I did that that's the main thing I try to teach my clients and sometimes been a journey some of my clients,
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they can see it into the bundles plan very quickly others it's takes 6 months yeah,
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others is taken a longer Journey but it's they still get their absolutely and it's less about when we get there it can we take each step to not give up.
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And I'm super super grateful for all the challenges of my childhood.
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To and have the ability to reflect right on the childhood to say these are the traumas I've experienced this is how they're actually.
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We're out of the Phoenix comes new life right like there is so much.
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Greatness out of the darkness that can come if we can see it and that's where I've always I've always been the young person that's like hold on.
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We can figure something out there's so much I'm gonna be able to see it but maybe if we all contribute and we all can think of it together and we gather we can write we are.
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We're powerful when we work together and that's you know kind of the culture inside of the work that I tried to fill inside of you know there doesn't sound when I hook,
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yeah thank you so much for sharing your story and there are definitely a lot of
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pieces in there that I want to dig back into because I think it's really valuable for our community to hear more experiences and perspectives
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first I want to talk about that relationship between scarcity and hoarding you had mentioned how growing up in your family there was the experience of.
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Hoarding I've heard that as hoarding resources is that what you meant,
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yes yes hold a sources yeah so can we talk about the relationship between scarcity and hoarding resources and why feeling scarce tends to lead to that desire to hoard.
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I know as I story and I try to like give the bigger overarching piece and then we can you know you can Whittle it down a little bit but yeah when we built money we excited it must have certain features for to operate this money,
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so besides it being divisible right and being portable it must be scarce it must be scarce so when we think about when economics was created,
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right according to the American economic Association economics right is that study of scarcity it's the study of how people use resources all these things we have in abundance and respond to incentives to those resources.
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So we built something that has scarcity built into it just from the get-go just from just the idea of using and having using money right but no matter if it was rice beans stones,
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when Chinese invented paper money doesn't matter no matter what we built we built the fact that it must be scarce.
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So that it must have value so at the just at the beginning of our creation of what we believe money to be at its core for everyone its scarcity is built-in.
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So that in itself must be a challenge for us to transform that we must understand what money is right what is money.
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And so because we have scarcity and because we have the and not just because of that when we think about trauma there's multiple levels of trauma right wing and Trauma money they have multiple pedals or trauma one of them I want to talk to right now is generational trauma,
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great if things like people are going through in Florida and Puerto Rico yeah it happen,
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doesn't mean you as a physical human-being can do about that that's out of your complete control that is that is societal and then eventually become generational trauma.
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And so that creates scarcity.
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Lived troops our ancestors lived through we have her living throughout have lived their scarcity where people had to be cannabis because I had to survive we just there's things we had to do that create scarcity.
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So because we experienced scarcity which creates trauma we have all these other layers that create behavior and one of those behaviors is hoarding.
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Like an animal I don't have enough whether that's love whatever it is you're whatever whatever it is you're trying to feel and when we call at Ramona call resourcing.
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We try to calm your nervous system.
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You use certain resources sometimes that's alcohol we sometimes that's jogging sometimes that's yoga so what right we research ourselves in different ways and one way we can resource ourselves is through accumulation of things.
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And that's how hoarding manifests yeah but it's unintentional it's a behavioral response to trauma and until we wake up to the truck wake up to the fact of the trauma and the chord the root right as gamer mate cause that the root of the addiction.
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What is an addiction can be considered a visit and negative behavior right that can cause financial and other.
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Destruction within your life which I've seen that in my family the fact that my mother sleeps on top of things traumatic yeah because he's feel like she's like be left me.
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Just take care of everything family that it's it's more than having enough.
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Once you have enough there's a whole there's a whole other set of things we have to do with right now yeah it's living life.
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Being above scarcity doesn't mean Your Life is Peachy right having the yard at the big mansion does not be Life is Peachy there's he submits,
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right of what Wellness is and when Wellness is out of balance they see hoarding we see Financial Association we see Financial neglect we see all these different things that show up because,
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our nervous systems are not well because of a traumatic event we experienced are like Reza mendicants work talks about or that's our ancestors that are coming through from us.
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But when we're aware.
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It's more about finishing the process of being in a trauma trigger State can you come from a hyper arousal State back to a calm State can you come from a non hyperarousal state to a calm state.
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Can you re-enter your nervous system when it is triggered because I think there's also this thing of we just preach Wellness all day then we'll just be fine.
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Well that could be for 10 minutes or for above something is always gonna happen that's gonna activate you in one way or another so how do you bring yourself back.
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So like my mother I would tell her you know instead of buying that those star earrings that you love you could go get a Frappuccino or something you like mhm.
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For you could you know my mom's in retirement right so it's really about her enjoying herself but if you didn't you could also have your younger person you save that yeah you could use that's you know what I tell my clients is that investing.
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Every time you spend your time energy or currency write all of the forms of money you have spent you what you're building something so what are you building do you know the Empire's since we are still in Colonials systems,
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everyone preaches Empire so we're still bending Empire Empires whose Empire you building and those are the Empire that you're building set with your values it isn't nourishing you.
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Because if it's not it's destroying you and others yes so whether it's a dollar or a thousand dollars or half a million dollars.
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It's all investing.
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But when we're going to trauma trigger State our brains are shut down a Broca's area shut down so we can't actually use that part of our brain that's why we need community.
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This is why our ancestors had sousou's like wrote traditional Susan others around the every time I meet with indigenous some indigenous folks other people in my community are like yeah my grandma used to do that and I just say well why aren't you.
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Yeah what what what's happened what happened,
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what is so you know Lively in and drawing about working within capitalism.
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And why is sharing resources amongst each other or not yeah like I've had the conversation I've had I've really wondered that because if you don't think you have enough.
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In scarcity then you can't share what you have and if you have enough even if you want to and we know that the study show that it when poor poor people share more.
00:21:46.439 --> 00:21:55.624
And when they don't have it let us get by that has been by the financial enabler that is my money disorder that's what you call it I want others to be well.
00:21:56.287 --> 00:22:02.736
But we must be well too and others can be well as well but there is a there is a there is enough what I call enough is not too little.
00:22:02.976 --> 00:22:09.145
You can have enough right where you are well where your nervous system is in sync right where you're not trauma trigger,
00:22:09.160 --> 00:22:21.514
and you can pay all of your bills on time you can see if you can invest you can do and you can still give a little bit more right to someone in need someone either rent paid which is often what I have to do is rumors they rent or Bill or someone needs something right
00:22:21.457 --> 00:22:23.081
have you put something away.
00:22:23.591 --> 00:22:32.677
For Community to pay it back because I mean when we think about hoarding I think there's also this idea that these things belong to us price my property,
00:22:32.827 --> 00:22:40.050
but it doesn't really die we don't take it with us and it's left for the living to take care of and to have to work through and to manage and it's
00:22:39.957 --> 00:22:48.665
you know that is traumatizing as well right absolutely we must do well with what we have while we are alive and well we were living and breathing.
00:22:49.031 --> 00:22:59.882
So that the Next Generation does not have to suffer that is what our ancestors did teach us which you know because of things that have happened in our society we have we've had a breakdown of that we've had a breakdown of Elders we don't have.
00:23:00.473 --> 00:23:09.631
You don't really have Elder councils like we used to so these missing these are gaps it's not like other things you know things could things can work better but these bigger gaps.
00:23:09.881 --> 00:23:18.283
Around what it means to spend to have to accumulate are questions that we need to be having because the ones that the TV is showing us.
00:23:19.243 --> 00:23:31.561
Or one's of Oppression or one's of the kings that we've been trying to get rid of supposably drive more scarcity I feel like I'll all that I see is especially in big media is only to drive
00:23:31.450 --> 00:23:37.601
more scarcity especially right now with the economy being kind of up in the air it is.
00:23:37.995 --> 00:23:46.550
Truly designed to drive a lot of fear a lot of the messages were seeing it isn't because people don't understand history like I'm like we'll check up like you have a phone,
00:23:46.583 --> 00:23:58.244
so look at the past I hooked like years of the stock market and you could just you could just look at it and then two minutes right with the way in which we have access to history I remember going to school I had to open a book
00:23:58.223 --> 00:24:06.490
well I don't have access to edit again in this way so I had to research it a physical book the way in which we have access to so much knowledge.
00:24:06.892 --> 00:24:12.962
We just learn what's happened in last 50 years in the last like maybe 20 minutes of really really wanted to.
00:24:13.608 --> 00:24:20.785
I mean I'm version of it a lot of stuff stuff is fake and it's our young people really challenge with that like what is what is what is real what is not.
00:24:21.206 --> 00:24:29.338
What's true I mean those things are real but it's like we have to be live in the real world and not just in the digital world to do that which money is also making interesting.
00:24:29.614 --> 00:24:36.098
My mother and then my family has not jumped to the digital world so they don't have those same experiences my uncle's doesn't have an email,
00:24:36.239 --> 00:24:40.978
when I did his estate plan right right when I try to put that together I created email and I was like wow,
00:24:40.993 --> 00:24:55.975
I was like if you don't have any better what am I not going to have what I what I've 75 also like not having an email sound so peaceful I am jealous of that aspect of his life because I wish I didn't have email right about now,
00:24:56.107 --> 00:25:08.930
I know the way in which is consumed as I think I don't know if you read the or watch the video the Centre of the self no I haven't it's on public relations it was created by a bourbon a any pretty he was Hitler's work,
00:25:08.972 --> 00:25:18.058
look into it we came to we can use it for good what's good all right what is this weapon right of language.
00:25:18.361 --> 00:25:27.276
Yeah that we can use right to make people do things like that in our best interest not in our best interest but in their best interest rate corporation's business and things like that.
00:25:27.732 --> 00:25:39.312
So we think about hoarding hoarding is a symptom of the system right it's the people think oh it's there's a lot of Shame it's all my fault none of this is your fault you were born into this you were playing the game as best as you can with the resources you have currently.
00:25:40.002 --> 00:25:49.962
Until you get more resources and then get support to the move to the next step you can you just can't and so we spend a lot of time especially as women of color and people going to beat ourselves up,
00:25:50.139 --> 00:26:00.089
wallowing in the shame and the guilt that's not ours and drummer money we you know gentle you know we say who shame is this Connors mmm-hmm,
00:26:00.276 --> 00:26:11.450
this isn't you are we're doing the best we can and that's when we were able to once we're able to mentally overcome that were able to make change and I think for my family that's the barrier that has not been able to break.
00:26:12.276 --> 00:26:23.144
And I think the reason why I do all this work is because of my family the reason why I Mentor young people the reason why I created this wealth redistribution work the reason why I've done everything is because I've wanted to see them be well.
00:26:23.411 --> 00:26:31.588
Even if they cannot and that if they cannot then what who's providing this idea that everyone can be well I think is also a myth.
00:26:31.856 --> 00:26:41.653
Not everyone can be well so who's supporting those who are disabled those who cannot write that's always been the biggest issue in our as a civilization we cast out those who do not fit the norm.
00:26:42.064 --> 00:26:49.728
I think that we are in a place of abundance as a species with our tools with their level of resource about a printing power we have which is still not good.
00:26:50.166 --> 00:26:59.477
We have a resource we have a tool that we've created that we could use to actually deploy and actually help people we could have Universal basic I dream yes
00:26:59.348 --> 00:27:08.552
dream a dream of a dream of fighting for a dream worth fighting for taking a step back from the conversation that we just had
00:27:08.423 --> 00:27:17.446
about hoarding I would love to talk a little bit more about distribution like wealth distribution because I think that's something that can be,
00:27:17.578 --> 00:27:23.864
really challenging for people especially if somebody you know gets to a point where maybe they,
00:27:23.970 --> 00:27:34.334
finally have something for for the first time or where they may be are still dealing with that fear of not having enough how do you work through that too.
00:27:34.664 --> 00:27:41.374
Distribute and to support others and why is it so important to do so I think that they're like people distribute all the time.
00:27:41.578 --> 00:27:48.891
They just don't think about it every time you go volunteer somewhere every time you go help your purse just a babysitter.
00:27:49.563 --> 00:27:56.399
Every time we distribute a lot of our time and resource every time really someone I know says they need something people step up.
00:27:57.323 --> 00:28:04.978
Sometimes I can't do it because they're in debt and they can't you know person sold more than that but they always step up so I think it's really about.
00:28:06.082 --> 00:28:10.865
You know I know we're coming back to the abundance plan right like if you are someone that has stable income,
00:28:11.034 --> 00:28:18.616
are you have enough I'm not talking about those who have enough because you can't really redistribute besides your you know do we think about time banking they've heard of that you can make your time.
00:28:18.847 --> 00:28:26.583
You can't Bank you're the resource you don't have them yet so we're talking about those who have a stable income who make.
00:28:27.274 --> 00:28:35.847
Who on paper who will in reality whether they know it or not right where they've actually written down right written it down any of that have enough to sustain themselves.
00:28:36.204 --> 00:28:51.051
Then it's about how much do you want to give if you if you if you're an executive and you've been volunteering on board for three organizations you spend all your time at Community you might need to think about where you're spending your money mmm-hmm it may be need to pare back,
00:28:51.184 --> 00:29:00.666
so that you can ask create some Reserve if you don't have an abundance plans about how much you want to give $25 is perfectly fine 5.if it's about it's about currency as money,
00:29:00.852 --> 00:29:10.406
$5 is fine where is your money going is the real question where you seating where you planting that seed and I think it's about what do you want to see grow,
00:29:10.548 --> 00:29:18.850
because over time maybe in two years you're going to do you reckon 50k and then two years and making 100K well now you can give them a thousand dollars a month if you want whoever that is a person.
00:29:19.262 --> 00:29:28.906
Who needs help I think this idea the issue at the biggest issue I think is that because of media everybody only things I can give to organizations and this is why people are suffering,
00:29:29.056 --> 00:29:40.834
my experience has shown me this at least from what I've been able to see in my little 31 years of life is that the money doesn't go to the person it goes institutions yeah and it's just going to do what they want with it.
00:29:41.299 --> 00:29:46.010
Since I met as many times I've been a community I was only person that's known to pay people ahead of time.
00:29:46.242 --> 00:29:56.723
It was like I just never got checks I'm like what do you mean you never got checks the county was supposed to be an estate has been so normal and that I experienced some of the experiences in Seattle ever experienced people just do that protectors never came,
00:29:56.864 --> 00:30:00.540
well hmm that is a norm to not be paid,
00:30:00.627 --> 00:30:10.650
not just not be paid well forget the well part but to not be paid especially if you're not working within the traditional systems if you're an entrepreneur if you're an artist,
00:30:10.809 --> 00:30:18.391
right you're you're expected to struggle that's a narrative that is not the truth of the resources that we actually have so.
00:30:18.803 --> 00:30:26.484
What I teach around wealth redistribution I mean I got 656 people together from around the country and just chair let's talk about what does it mean to give and receive.
00:30:26.734 --> 00:30:36.504
For a lot of especially women that receiving is harder than giving yes I don't deserve that what do you mean you don't deserve that your ancestors died for it,
00:30:36.564 --> 00:30:46.380
they've already done it we're good you did to deserve it have abundance but the trauma and the story of The Narrative is so strong of Oppression right and colonialism within our societies I know I don't deserve that.
00:30:46.863 --> 00:30:55.310
It was my five dollars but how are you going to give away a million if you can't give away $25 right if you can't receive that if you can't receive it you can't give.
00:30:55.739 --> 00:31:06.581
In journeying with them through this what like what is well well does us sitting together and being and sharing our time our voice our wisdom our currency our skills our top that's what they've been doing with each other in the group.
00:31:07.082 --> 00:31:09.056
And that's wealth to me.
00:31:09.494 --> 00:31:23.757
But at the end of the day it is about currency and I think the biggest piece is that we want to say well I gave the black person the title and I gave them a nice little experience right but their lives are the same as they were before they saw you and they met you
00:31:23.754 --> 00:31:30.482
exactly and so wealth is really about you know no matter where we are on the income scale whether it's a dollar a million,
00:31:30.659 --> 00:31:34.785
it's about helping people be better and helping people be better means helping them get out of debt.
00:31:35.034 --> 00:31:42.797
It means helping them be well financially well and not and taking away shame and guilt and blame right around I don't care why you are where you're at,
00:31:42.956 --> 00:31:51.250
I want to see you get to the next step and be better and to thrive and as we do have enough resource for that if we got into Honeycombs or sacred structure.
00:31:51.715 --> 00:32:01.116
Ray and Community we can work like mycelium and we could one by one that's been my work one by one how do we redistribute what we have and we helped sure make people any victim.
00:32:01.402 --> 00:32:07.013
All of us can come together and give $25 $100 whatever that might be at that time that's how that's how our answers is always did it,
00:32:07.055 --> 00:32:16.834
y'all put your money together you buy the house y'all put your money together you buy the land lands of some discussions talk about that later but this is what we've had to do to survive as communities,
00:32:16.903 --> 00:32:23.352
not as individuals we are ever since we've been gone from a single-celled organism to a multi-celled organism we have we have to have community,
00:32:23.520 --> 00:32:35.397
you were not we are not in the village we are individuals but we are we are a part of a bigger structure that sustains us we've lost connection with and so many different ways yeah I mean I think so much of,
00:32:35.493 --> 00:32:40.546
how we are conditioned to move and our society in particular.
00:32:41.021 --> 00:32:46.848
Really hyper focuses on the individual and I do wonder if part of that or a big part of that.
00:32:47.376 --> 00:32:58.560
Is to undermine the power that we would have if we operated and as communities more remember the black and white people were murdered and houses burned down for trying to organize
00:32:58.521 --> 00:33:07.148
that's why we below we're for the rooftops you better be careful what just came for the rooftops because like Martin Luther King's out of we don't organize as strongly as even if we will lose,
00:33:07.172 --> 00:33:16.546
yeah we've been losing because we refused to organize refused to gather our resources in the same way evil does really we just we just don't we were very divided.
00:33:16.769 --> 00:33:22.110
We're very divided on the front we're fighting little battles and we're not focusing on the war.
00:33:22.764 --> 00:33:30.806
When evils focus on winning the war saving complete Dominion but commuters are taking things back people are doing things but I think the overall.
00:33:31.127 --> 00:33:32.877
Like you said there's a fear.
00:33:33.234 --> 00:33:42.977
It's not just in the market there's a fear every sphere right so you know Warren Buffett's be greedy when others are fearful or fearful those are greedy most people can't play that game right because the trauma,
00:33:43.091 --> 00:33:57.327
yeah right they don't stay that they don't stay the course right and because of crypto and all these other things people did you know if you didn't know what money was your just you got the most rude awakening nobody ever but the greatest experience in money creation has ever existed as far as we know never existed.
00:33:57.549 --> 00:34:02.755
For us as a species right we got to become both the year then our answers are could ever imagine.
00:34:03.031 --> 00:34:11.406
And we'd still didn't build Universal basic income burgers with the we still didn't do it
we didn't build we did we built.
00:34:11.727 --> 00:34:26.053
But we didn't build for the future right for a future Generations that are coming and we're doing a slowly not to say that the efforts of everyone that's working very hard on the ground yeah we need all of that but I felt like there's this and I decide the pandemic didn't hurt.
00:34:26.671 --> 00:34:34.866
A lot of these efforts we are coming out of this and we are super strong right we can still build the future that we want to see we just really have to.
00:34:35.394 --> 00:34:47.901
Understand our money trauma trauma our trauma childhood trauma understand money in general what is money I think now is a perfect time to question everybody's question go ahead and question all of it all of it all the pieces in the right yes so we can rethink.
00:34:48.394 --> 00:34:58.236
How we want to be you know we only need to gather small right there the groups that I have their small but they've done I mean $125 I would help someone help build some of their artwork so they could sell it,
00:34:58.404 --> 00:35:10.515
another one that would help them get a certificate I was like I didn't think I had the $25 but do anything right but it's magnificent and it does so much every dollar every time we meet with someone and we share a resource and we share a story.
00:35:10.944 --> 00:35:18.653
That's money you know we're exchanging that in the more that we can be in a positive way and being community and not do it alone the more that we can.
00:35:19.127 --> 00:35:22.380
Create and take those little steps to Wellness,
00:35:22.566 --> 00:35:34.245
right wealth redistribution is a journey it's not a destination it's a forever practice until you take your last breath just like people do when you get old you stop investing no you should save an investor and forever,
00:35:34.386 --> 00:35:42.518
you should keep going and teach those who come behind you do the same so then they can just pick up where you left off right and also maybe the question is your ideology.
00:35:43.163 --> 00:35:44.751
Is the lens you're looking through.
00:35:45.342 --> 00:35:53.960
One that's going to help you or harm you and it's not about power right humans want we're chip and ZR DNA and Japan is chimp right we're the only other species that.
00:35:54.668 --> 00:35:56.742
Likes to go for fun.
00:35:57.063 --> 00:36:06.383
Great so we have to fight against that sort of Peace within us that animalistic peace within us that says that we can organize we can have fun in ways that are win-win.
00:36:06.956 --> 00:36:09.867
Right because we're human we can create anything that we want.
00:36:10.080 --> 00:36:19.860
That's why we're giving this Consciousness now that's a that octopus is any octopus is a very smart so we're dolphins and elephants right but we're the only ones that were able to project Beyond ourselves.
00:36:20.091 --> 00:36:21.849
And so we can create.
00:36:22.161 --> 00:36:30.383
Even with the fits five people whether it's 100 people whether if it's just in our backyard with somebody that lives just helping somebody make sure that they can pay the rent for six months,
00:36:30.461 --> 00:36:37.585
that is enough right hey someone's light bill that's enough we can do that or what we have the digital systems there there,
00:36:37.654 --> 00:36:52.403
it's the shame that says I don't need help yeah I can do it on my own there is no own it's all of us you didn't you didn't kill the cow to eat that burger so it doesn't all of us to do these things and really knowing that,
00:36:52.409 --> 00:36:59.740
dropping the shame really melting that shame away is what helps to redistribute the shame will prevent you,
00:36:59.926 --> 00:37:10.848
your braids will give you start thinking all these thoughts that aren't your thoughts they're not just aren't you saving me but I can't give the Jesus that's like I didn't mean it either this or they want a beggar you know all these things know if that person needs help them.
00:37:11.080 --> 00:37:13.000
Show them what it means.
00:37:13.213 --> 00:37:22.506
Be well show me some hey I want to take care of this for you right and we do the often and be able to receive that back often especially black women.
00:37:22.801 --> 00:37:35.947
Really need to be able to receive as much as as much as we give into the world absolutely we deserve so much especially all those other elders and from behind us and those are slaving and working hard for us right now,
00:37:36.007 --> 00:37:41.771
it's true it's true and add a few points we've kind of touched on,
00:37:41.876 --> 00:37:55.202
trauma and money trauma and kind of the the relationship that maybe our childhood trauma has with money and how we handle money as we get older if someone is wanting to dig into that work and start.
00:37:55.695 --> 00:38:01.747
Investigating or have some curiosity with themselves about what part of their.
00:38:02.068 --> 00:38:13.909
Trauma is related to that what are some things that you recommend to help them start that process really one of the biggest things that we teach in trauma money we talked about you know psychology is its own Colonial.
00:38:14.186 --> 00:38:27.701
Field however mmm when you look at what your money scripts and money disorders by the dr. Brad clontz the money disorder is test they really just give you a basic glimpse into possibly how you're behaving with money,
00:38:27.869 --> 00:38:34.893
or how you can behave with money or how you seen family members or friends behave with money and it kind of gives you a landscape of what currently exists.
00:38:35.539 --> 00:38:44.121
And our framework of what possibly could I do with the resources I have that are negative right and then talking of course turn those things into a positive.
00:38:44.829 --> 00:38:56.427
It's hard facing those things that you don't want to face and so having something that is objective that you can say okay this is what this is telling me is a good is always a good I have my all of my clients take that test
00:38:56.361 --> 00:39:05.762
both of those tests actually the money scripts test and them and the money disorders test
if you don't want to take the test I think it's going to be a little harder it's going to be just self-reflection.
00:39:06.426 --> 00:39:12.829
Thinking about your childhood right one of the things that have affected the way that you behave with money do you overspend,
00:39:13.015 --> 00:39:22.461
every month do you have less than you make every month and you're in debt will assess that process what did I spend on this month right that I could not have spent on.
00:39:23.287 --> 00:39:32.877
Right if you are - it's creating harm like if you're not paying your bills on time if you are if you can pay all your bills then it's just assessing your behavior so that you don't get into more debt.
00:39:33.261 --> 00:39:47.074
Free but if you have no debt it's just managing how you would like to grow there's a thing like oh I didn't do well but I have a thousand dollars extra you're fine everything's gonna be fine but if the same behavior because it's trauma.
00:39:47.323 --> 00:39:55.149
So we have to really tell ourselves we have to be aware and in the awareness we can keep reminding ourselves that becomes neuropathic new neural Pathways in our brain.
00:39:55.479 --> 00:40:00.415
Undo ever acknowledged in the current pattern so we can undo the car better and do something else.
00:40:00.916 --> 00:40:08.751
So it's really about awareness awareness is the first step you cannot do anything unless you're aware and coming to that awareness especially around trauma.
00:40:09.054 --> 00:40:18.032
It's very hard so you really have to be gentle with yourself you have to know first that most of the things that you're experiencing or not you they differ from society or they're from our ancestors
00:40:17.940 --> 00:40:24.055
the not you you're living in the world and experiencing it as best you can the world is happening to you is just as much as you were happening to the world.
00:40:24.763 --> 00:40:33.363
And to be just I can't I don't know how many times I say is be gentle because no matter what space I've been in the one thing that everyone says is oh my goodness.
00:40:33.955 --> 00:40:37.252
I don't have a space to Just Breathe.
00:40:37.619 --> 00:40:47.353
And to be my end to just be myself and we can give ourselves that opportunity everyday we don't need permission for that if we can find peaceful space.
00:40:47.773 --> 00:41:01.415
We deserve it
it is ours actually we don't deserve we don't deserve a desires so yeah so that's what I would say you know really I would say if they have more time and energy you know coming to the trauma money course it is life-changing.
00:41:01.637 --> 00:41:07.545
More because it's a community right you get a community of people going through this with you and one of the journey.
00:41:07.965 --> 00:41:12.712
And supporting each other and seeing other solutions that you didn't see in other people from around the world.
00:41:13.097 --> 00:41:23.200
That's the biggest thing the biggest thing that that that that has I've never thought I would be doing this never thought that I would be given the gift of being able to serve people from around the world.
00:41:23.431 --> 00:41:29.961
And being able to talk about money from in a real way you know the thing that Chantal Chapman you know I was created with trauma of money.
00:41:30.363 --> 00:41:34.381
Just around trauma itself right it's so nourishing.
00:41:34.864 --> 00:41:46.723
It really is nourishing so I say the experience and the overcoming is really a wind community so if you can gather with five others or three others in your community if you that you trust and start this conversation starter.
00:41:47.107 --> 00:41:57.733
Start just talking that's all it is and then you know of course deeper work with possible trauma of money and things like that but start with start at home if you can if you have loved ones start at home definitely
00:41:57.703 --> 00:42:03.134
with those that you know are ready to have the conversation things like oh I want to help you can understand our conversation now,
00:42:03.212 --> 00:42:12.947
gather with those that are ready first so that you feel well in nurse and that the hard way it's I mean we are like that's part of the survival thing to I need to help you because you know I love you and.
00:42:13.250 --> 00:42:19.338
We can and we don't always need to be the one it can be someone else like I want you to be supported and might not just it just might not be me,
00:42:19.452 --> 00:42:25.136
that's a journey to that took me a long time with my family be like I can't I'm not here to save you I'm not your savior I'm gonna murder here,
00:42:25.241 --> 00:42:37.324
I need to give support you with the resources that you need but it takes time and that's the thing we don't seem to think that we have yes because life is fleeting but we also do need space and time to express ourselves too.
00:42:37.565 --> 00:42:47.452
Say I didn't mean that right to myself right to ourselves right like give me some space and time to think about what I've been through the Journey I've been on our hold me through that
00:42:47.386 --> 00:42:55.203
we can create those spaces the work I've created winner doesn't bound yes I've been a community for a while and yes I've shown up in many other ways but I created this page from nothing,
00:42:55.344 --> 00:43:04.350
you don't need permission to gather others and to redistribute you need to just do it the behavior is in the doing it's the one thing call one person,
00:43:04.464 --> 00:43:12.793
give them 100 hours say I just I love you just because if you have it you know you could do that it could be simple right it's not there's no real system.
00:43:13.151 --> 00:43:22.336
There's not one methodology we followed to serve each other it's how do we serve each other and just make sure that we're serving each other in a way that supports Us in the loving caring way,
00:43:22.522 --> 00:43:29.844
and we do that so well in community we just we don't organize around it so but we are we are we're going Universal basic income is growing.
00:43:30.165 --> 00:43:40.107
Moving back to our traditional systems in those ways are growing right I think that the future is scary but it's bright as it has been for our ancestors in the past right scary but,
00:43:40.113 --> 00:43:45.994
they still did it because they knew we were going to be here one day yes absolutely
00:43:45.937 --> 00:43:57.625
and I think even considering all that so many of our ancestors experienced us being here is a miracle like it's a really beautiful thing actually
00:43:57.505 --> 00:44:06.105
that we're able to be here in this point in time even if it doesn't always feel like it when we're in the hustle and bustle exactly and as a historian I think.
00:44:06.462 --> 00:44:08.509
We're right where we need to be.
00:44:08.722 --> 00:44:16.575
I know that's really hard so I even say you know but I know I wouldn't be here if my mother and father didn't do what to go to the things they went through
00:44:16.446 --> 00:44:26.180
didn't have the the pit stops they had right I wouldn't if they're if their parents and their parents and they were like we are here when we're supposed to be here in this moment that's a gift
00:44:26.123 --> 00:44:30.978
it's just you know we just need to remember it and it's a lot easier to remember when were with others,
00:44:31.083 --> 00:44:43.383
absolutely and when we're helping one another remember remind each other exactly exactly and just having just resting like resting and laughing and being in good and goodness right that is light,
00:44:43.480 --> 00:44:52.331
so we just need to do that a little bit more often right and we have permission to do that you can gather we can break bread right we can cook for one another we can have yoga we do whatever,
00:44:52.347 --> 00:44:55.690
great do whatever we can meditate we can do whatever together.
00:44:55.948 --> 00:45:03.260
That's one thing I'm looking forward to is trying to do in the first in-person event for the first time and in a very long time because the digital space is beautiful but.
00:45:03.717 --> 00:45:10.462
People need people and people as we reopen I think it's also important for us to regather and space to break bread.
00:45:10.837 --> 00:45:14.477
Miss Ms breaking bread and having dinner with other folks so.
00:45:15.087 --> 00:45:27.602
And that way there's truly nothing that can replace it I mean Gathering virtually served a purpose and I think it did help keep people together while that was our only option but.
00:45:27.807 --> 00:45:34.723
Like that true in-person interaction and feeling other people's energies and sharing space there's truly nothing like it
00:45:34.612 --> 00:45:43.320
nothing nothing like it but I miss it so much it's not I'm ready I think this isn't everything's in its own season right and I think as long as we're listening to the spirit.
00:45:44.002 --> 00:45:53.349
It's going to be okay yeah definitely so at the beginning when you were telling us a bit more about your your background.
00:45:53.562 --> 00:46:03.036
Something that really came up for me while you were describing that was it almost felt like in some ways that money can be.
00:46:03.654 --> 00:46:07.834
A bit of a mirror for us that it can it can reflect back,
00:46:07.912 --> 00:46:15.666
something that's happening inside whether that's previous experiences whether that is how we're reacting to the world around us or whether as we were just talking about
00:46:15.528 --> 00:46:25.496
our traumas have you had that experience where it's felt like your money or your financial situation feels like a mirror and what have those experiences shown you.
00:46:26.276 --> 00:46:34.750
Are you saying like a mirror that like a reflection into like our past or our families that we've seen show up again and that way
00:46:34.685 --> 00:46:40.872
it definitely can be a reflection of how we feel right if we feel a sense of
00:46:40.635 --> 00:46:49.928
unease or turbulence like we can experience that in our finances it can definitely be a mirror to what our families have experienced just something that can reflect.
00:46:50.223 --> 00:46:58.822
Some of our experiences that we've we've had I think I would say like a lot of that I mean but different points you know I was say that.
00:46:59.216 --> 00:47:06.628
I said for like one of the biggest things how you relate to money right so I'm for my family it's food so we can see.
00:47:06.967 --> 00:47:16.611
Abundance or overindulgence or all those are even neglect in some ways show up but then money around food.
00:47:16.905 --> 00:47:28.098
I think food is a very interesting with you know if we could talk about that all day how this varies between food and all those things but I think that my relationship to money my biggest hurdle has been with food.
00:47:28.356 --> 00:47:32.149
Growing up in a home where Grandma wanted something so what we got whatever Grandma wanted.
00:47:32.668 --> 00:47:42.384
And I cooking stopped early in my life like I cook my husband I'm front of you know one day feels good look but that does Behavior stop.
00:47:43.156 --> 00:47:46.256
That were necessary until those are seen mirrored.
00:47:46.883 --> 00:47:55.825
Now in my life as I'm trying to it's so I think that there's things that come up later it with throughout your life you're like oh my gosh that's my mom oh my goodness that's my dad or oh my goodness I used to do that and I'm doing it again.
00:47:56.011 --> 00:48:00.605
Yeah but it's also a point to still check in right is this Behavior okay.
00:48:01.016 --> 00:48:11.903
There's some things I do want to keep that I love and enjoy right around food going to certain restaurants going to do specific things cooking certain things right which means spending certain thing for certain things for family right.
00:48:12.413 --> 00:48:22.372
And there's ways that I see the mirroring and I'm like I don't want that but that that's it takes a journey and understanding what that is for you right so for me it's like my mom likes to go out a lot.
00:48:22.964 --> 00:48:29.268
That's something that I love to do as well but I can't can't do that when you don't have the money so having two Behavior,
00:48:29.445 --> 00:48:37.451
and the thing that you want that's the river that's where the Gap is can you have delayed gratification to wait for the thing that you can still have it you can have it right now.
00:48:37.890 --> 00:48:40.647
So when you see something mirrored it's more like decaying.
00:48:41.058 --> 00:48:53.746
Can you pause the pauses where we get to take the moment to address the trauma trigger so whether we're going to resource for it if we can pause usually when we don't pause we press the Amazon button press the grandpa border patrol right,
00:48:53.878 --> 00:48:57.076
but we can pause within that piles we can make a choice.
00:48:57.290 --> 00:49:06.646
Sometimes we can make a different choice and sometimes we're just like that's what I needed that's what my nervous system needed and so the mirroring and s'more do at least one of them understanding from the question is.
00:49:06.868 --> 00:49:11.642
Is the mirroring negative creating negative behaviors within your life or positive behaviors within your life.
00:49:11.909 --> 00:49:23.237
And can you acknowledge the Myriad of the ways in which you're seeing yourself show up that might not be the best way and to and have Grace with yourself first and then say okay what's one thing I can do,
00:49:23.396 --> 00:49:37.181
but one thing you can do is write pick out a meal that you love to eat cook it at home right small I mean this is just about food there are so many different ways we could do this with other things or I really love this dress well let me go to my closet really quickly and just look and see what I have maybe I'll get inspired.
00:49:37.485 --> 00:49:40.899
We can pause and do something else we usually will move away,
00:49:41.041 --> 00:49:49.200
and do something different we just will write it's just can we take that moment to say I have I have power over the choices I make.
00:49:49.530 --> 00:49:53.755
In the mirror and can look like whatever I want it to look like if I have control over that.
00:49:54.076 --> 00:50:03.423
Because there's some things we do want to carry forward you know some things we really don't really like why do why do I do this.
00:50:03.753 --> 00:50:13.200
Yeah you sit a certain way or look is our new certain look you know we are we are the we are we are Flesh and Blood we are those that have come before as we are that,
00:50:13.305 --> 00:50:24.542
but it doesn't mean we have to behave that way lot over time right we can change our Behavior so I hope that I think I answered your question it did yes thank you for those examples I was thinking of it,
00:50:24.666 --> 00:50:30.817
as I was kind of reflecting on my own money experience know my family.
00:50:31.147 --> 00:50:40.900
It was very financially chaotic it is still financially chaotic not that it wasn't necessarily there to be able to pay bills or two
00:50:40.771 --> 00:50:51.495
get Necessities but just it was almost like a fabricated chaos we created situations where there wasn't enough when there should have been and.
00:50:51.726 --> 00:50:59.948
As an adult I found myself starting to do the same thing fabricating that chaos for myself even though I didn't need to be there and.
00:51:00.260 --> 00:51:10.553
Over the past few years I've done a lot of like looking at that and really re-evaluating my habits and just My Views and I've seen a lot change really quickly just from
00:51:10.478 --> 00:51:16.458
understanding what was being reflected back to me and so to your point just about pausing and about understanding,
00:51:16.510 --> 00:51:24.731
you know what am I doing why am I doing this it sounds so simple but it can go so far so far was asking like wait a second what am I doing.
00:51:25.071 --> 00:51:35.444
I mean that's actually how I truly came to buddy I was walking I was walking from well I wonder from Walgreens one day and I was like wait why do I have these are credit card looks like.
00:51:35.693 --> 00:51:42.124
Who does who made this rule in society like I living at this moment this like true Awakening to like what do I do.
00:51:42.571 --> 00:51:51.783
No I don't have to agree with you yeah and that was the Journey of the of getting out of debt it was a true like wait a second I don't have to don't have to do this.
00:51:52.645 --> 00:51:57.302
Do something different it may not be today but I can do something different right out tomorrow.
00:51:57.875 --> 00:52:03.297
And then tomorrow came and tomorrow and the next day something different came that it can it just will take time.
00:52:03.862 --> 00:52:15.207
It takes time like you said it's a gears right it takes takes time but it's worth it the journey there's more there's so much richness in the journey than it is getting there yeah because once you get there like okay there's all this other stuff.
00:52:15.510 --> 00:52:26.451
A new level new new other things new adventure that's what got like it's a bit of a chance yes exactly I like that that phrasing better,
00:52:26.592 --> 00:52:28.720
00:52:28.843 --> 00:52:43.087
yeah so we're not calling anything we're not calling the other the other part of that expression in but it's so true and just focus just on agency that we can choose and that also no matter what we choose that's not necessarily.
00:52:43.390 --> 00:52:46.256
Dictating who we are as people.
00:52:46.541 --> 00:52:53.773
Recently I had shared some of my financial mistakes that I've made in my life that honestly truly,
00:52:53.869 --> 00:53:03.351
really dumb like just dumb dumb stuff that I did it doesn't mean that I'm a dumb person but it means that I've made some dumb choices and even admitting to those things,
00:53:03.430 --> 00:53:14.397
was a little anxiety inducing some like what are people going to think of me are they going to think I'm dumb no one's going to want to listen to me or my advice if I did XYZ but I realized that that reflection and being able to share.
00:53:14.682 --> 00:53:22.832
How Far We've Come are being able to share with people who have maybe made similar mistakes saying hey you can overcome this is also super valuable.
00:53:23.108 --> 00:53:29.278
It is because we usually don't think we if we can't see you then we think with the TV says a TV most essential can't get out of bed unless you pay somebody.
00:53:29.653 --> 00:53:36.173
First I know you could you can overcome the thing you're going through if you just have a little patience with yourself.
00:53:36.621 --> 00:53:43.861
But that's the getting to that point if that's that's the journey that's the overcoming the trauma part that oh I did that camp and that's fine.
00:53:44.264 --> 00:53:52.224
Like that that's fine tomorrow make a different decision or I'll make the same decision I'll do what I have to do right but I'm not we create.
00:53:52.564 --> 00:54:05.575
We trauma metastasizes right we create disease in our bodies when we can't move the energy out of our bodies and release things I need to stress the the energy that's created through that experience because traumas an embodied experience when we feeling a sort of,
00:54:05.680 --> 00:54:14.595
thanks for everything it's in our bodies we have to actually move it move it out of our bodies so that we can be well and then we can do that two different practices.
00:54:15.169 --> 00:54:24.246
Yeah but that we have agency to do that like you said right that we can do it that's just not just knowing that like just having the awareness like you said that was going to help you through that process to share.
00:54:24.873 --> 00:54:34.328
That's it like start a business go start it right like we can do these things we don't have to take five years or sometimes we do need to take 5 years.
00:54:34.695 --> 00:54:38.289
And then we have that Grace with the journey we've been on where am I at in this journey.
00:54:38.493 --> 00:54:44.762
Great what's beautiful about it what's hard about it what are the things I can work on today what is the things that I can leave for tomorrow.
00:54:45.398 --> 00:54:55.780
Living like this idea of like taking a breath we to do a lot of breath work in terms of money and I do with my clients to Just Breathe Right just breathe in.
00:54:56.120 --> 00:55:05.350
Free that you're here right now yes right now there's nothing else except this moment and if you're in a safe space it's if we know that it's a beautiful space.
00:55:05.878 --> 00:55:16.000
Things will be great with the energy that you put into it right and energy that the energy Universe gives you back right but we're taking care of we're community and if we don't have one that we can find one.
00:55:16.258 --> 00:55:26.172
There there it only takes one it only takes one connection to change your life true it was been like pure experience it takes one.
00:55:26.368 --> 00:55:31.529
We don't need 100 we need one so true we need to speak the dream tell the story.
00:55:31.868 --> 00:55:36.525
And the spirit will have that person stroke to you absolutely right,
00:55:36.711 --> 00:55:50.650
the intense but I do believe that we're mycelium we are I can't see you but I can feel you even though you know you're not here with me right like we're everywhere right so our spirit enters everywhere I need your travels are spirits connect in ways that we can.
00:55:50.872 --> 00:55:52.225
When I was about.
00:55:52.474 --> 00:56:04.027
So I think that's where the journey is right so much more important right than that destination of where we're trying to get yes we want to build wealth but the journey to Building Wealth is just as beautiful absolutely absolutely and welcoming currency and health and,
00:56:04.150 --> 00:56:12.237
all the other ways of the shows up within our lap silently all of the above and you mentioned practices to move trauma out of
00:56:12.144 --> 00:56:27.055
the body what are some of your favorite practices for that they either you like to do or work with your clients you mentioned breathwork right so just breathing like taking deep breaths in and out till just any of the you know the different 478 breathing techniques any sort of just.
00:56:27.295 --> 00:56:40.549
Just breathe really woman of color like a hold their breath I am one like hold my breath all day so it's really just take a moment to breathe in so breath work really getting in the body so if you like to dance go dance if you have a class or something like to do but,
00:56:40.699 --> 00:56:44.753
you don't have any access to any that go on a walk it's just as good.
00:56:45.200 --> 00:56:54.412
Doing any of those other things right if you like to meditate meditate if you like to hum hum right our ancestors home and they saying right to release.
00:56:54.959 --> 00:57:06.656
We have all these things are out of disposal that we don't have to pay for I think our society says we must pay for everything to that we engage in for wellness when Wellness is free its nature it's all around us it's yeah.
00:57:07.013 --> 00:57:12.480
It's all here so and just being with ourselves sometimes just being sitting in so visioning meditation
00:57:12.387 --> 00:57:20.330
it's called you can sit and you can just close your eyes if you're in a safe enough space you can envision your on a beach you can Envision the waters receding,
00:57:20.372 --> 00:57:29.971
coming up and going away right you can Vision seagull flying across the sky you can Envision the Sun in the sky you can transport yourself to somewhere else for a moment to calm your nervous system and get you back.
00:57:30.464 --> 00:57:36.210
So calm State we can deploy all these things
and anyone on the time throughout the day.
00:57:36.468 --> 00:57:44.645
And those will come our nervous system are one of the things we like to also do is if you look behind you mmm yeah you told me your unconscious nervous system that you're fine.
00:57:44.984 --> 00:57:53.521
So doing little tiny things to bring yourself to now to the present to where you're at light a candle whatever it may be.
00:57:53.942 --> 00:58:04.540
Those are just some there's so there's so many ways that we can resource there and it's actually in its infinite actually that we can think of different ways that that can nourish us right well can bring us calm and joy.
00:58:04.753 --> 00:58:13.390
Within moments that we needed could be you need to watch something to make us laugh we can use a digital tools to make us laugh as well right to make us happy as well right we can use all these little points.
00:58:14.026 --> 00:58:22.103
But I really think being in the body I love to go on walks I live near water so I love to go on a walk around walk my little doggy rubbing you have an animal rubbing your animal as well,
00:58:22.227 --> 00:58:30.413
whatever comes at nervous system is really some of the best things that we can do for ourselves and Italy beautiful beautiful practices and I
00:58:30.392 --> 00:58:39.370
I love all of those things and and preaching all of those things all the time so thank you for the for those suggestions and if I see this was,
00:58:39.547 --> 00:58:45.293
such a rich conversation I know I learned so much and,
00:58:45.381 --> 00:59:01.704
have gotten so much to really think about in chew on as I continue to move forward and my financial Wellness Journey so I really appreciate you being here can you tell our audience how they can work with you how they can keep in touch with you if they're interested in trauma of money or
00:59:01.540 --> 00:59:04.765
working with you to build an abundance plan how can they do that
00:59:04.709 --> 00:59:17.918
awesome yes in the best way to get in contact with me is to email me at info at narratives I'm bound that net or I can just go to the website and also submit a form there and there is Unbound dotnet you want to learn more about trauma of money you can visit trauma of money.com
00:59:17.816 --> 00:59:27.784
for a whole faculty a whole team of community I really would love for you to join that if you have time and I'm also if anyone's interested in doing wealth redistribution will be growing our cohort soon.
00:59:27.988 --> 00:59:39.109
So if anyone is interested they can get on the waiting list for that amazing will have that all Linked In the show notes to make it super easy for folks to check out and find you thank you so much thank you so much less there.
00:59:38.960 --> 00:59:44.080
00:59:43.922 --> 00:59:55.880
For tuning in to today's episode and for joining me in the money and abundance series I hope this series was helpful and inspiring on your journey to financial well-being and
00:59:55.742 --> 01:00:04.198
given its the podcast birthday I have to thank you again for for amazing year so thank you so much for your support and for listening
01:00:04.087 --> 01:00:19.547
head to the show notes for more information about working with the FAA see through trauma of money and narratives Unbound she does incredible work and we've linked all of her information and resources in the show notes so that you can find exactly where to connect with her and work
01:00:19.319 --> 01:00:19.997
01:00:20.039 --> 01:00:38.218
huge shout out to the sponsors of today's episode who helped us deliver this free content so make sure you grab the discount codes and the links in the show notes it's really a win-win it's a really great way to support the show and to let our sponsors know that you love balanced black girl and they're usually hooking you up with some great discounts on incredible
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