How Creativity Impacts Your Health + Overcoming Perfectionism with AJ Clarke of Soul Rehab

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Music.

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We are still going strong with our new life and creativity series and we've covered a lot of ground we've talked about understanding fertility preparing to bring new life into the world and navigating Life as a mother

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and I'm really excited to start talking more about creativity.

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Often when I bring topics to the podcast it's because I have an idea or an inkling or want to learn more about a topic so I bring it here so we can explore it together.

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And something that has been very fascinating to me has been wanting to learn more about the intersection of creativity and well-being

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and it felt natural to incorporate conversations of creativity and bringing new ideas into the world when we were going to be exploring what it was like to bring new life into the world.

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I started by re-examining my own relationship with creativity

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while I do think I have the ability to be creative I've never identified as a creative or seen creativity as a strength that I possessed

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but then I started asking myself why not and I realize it's because my idea of creativity was really Limited.

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In my mind I limited creativity to practices that are very visual so drawing painting designing sculpture dance none of which are skills that I've fostered or invested in and I think a lot of us feel that way.

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Do y'all remember that old Fergie song called clumsy.

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There's one line in the song where she says because every time a boyfriend and I break up my world is crushed and I'm all alone the love bug crawls right back up and bites me and I'm back.

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And that's what many of us think creativity is I know I sure have

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that it's a bug that's either business or it hasn't it's who we are or it's not we either have it or we don't.

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But the reality is creativity isn't black and white it's not a trait that some of us have and some of us don't do it's actually a skill

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it's a skill that we all have and then we all have the ability to strengthen and leverage in different ways.

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We can also receive conditioning that tells us that creativity is an important right so think about it in schools when there's budget cuts things like art program so the first thing to go.

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When someone shares that they want to pursue a creative career they're often told that it should just be a hobby or that they should be realistic.

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So it's no wonder that many of us have an awkward relationship with creativity we often think it's something that we don't have access to even though we all do and if we do have a creative Talent or want to pursue it we're told that it doesn't matter if it can't make us money.

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But I want to argue that our creativity does matter and then it doesn't have to look a certain way or be monetized matter.

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Because creativity and creative expression are actually really good for your health.

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A 2014 study on music and neuroplasticity found that creative activities such as learning to play an instrument can help connect the two sides of the brain so it's truly like exercise or strength training for your brain

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which is incredible.

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A 2010 study showed creative expression makes people more likely to be optimistic and have an optimistic Outlook that optimism helps people have a higher quality of life as well as better mental and physical health outcomes.

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Research has also shown that participation in artistic activities can help decrease symptoms of depression lower stress response increased positive emotions and improve immune function of some people.

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And that's just from participation that's not from being Picasso that's not from being Beyonce so allowing yourself to wonder think freely and express yourself freely is an amazing start to reaping the benefits creativity has to offer.

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Some easy ways that you can add more creativity into your life are journaling I talked about journaling all the time because it is such an amazing tool for self-expression

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I have what's called my glow up guide Wellness rituals Journal that I created a while back that I'll link in the show notes you can download it's just a journal template that can help you really get the juices flowing in terms of reflection.

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So head to the show notes you can download that it's totally free and that can help you get started journaling if you're having a hard time knowing where to start.

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You can also participate in activities like drawing sewing knitting painting or decorating without being attached

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two at the outcome okay so you're not doing these things because you expect them to be amazing or because you expect to sell them or win any awards you're truly doing them as a form of exercise for your brain.

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You can also invite more creativity into your life by asking questions being open to new experiences looking at things from different perspectives because anytime you're learning something new and that knowledge can take you to a new place that can help you receive

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the benefits of creativity.

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I wanted to give you that context about the importance of creativity and the connection between creativity and well-being before we get into our interview today and my goodness today's interview is really really special.

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I guess this Ariel car could go spy AJ and she is a creative entrepreneur and marketer who is birthing a really beautiful Collective to help others heal

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AJ is a creative marketing agency owner wife and the creative director behind Soul rehab.

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She realized that the self-love space was full of well-intentioned but surface-level Endeavors that didn't tell you how to overcome but just told you that you should.

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Rehab is birthed from the most vulnerable of spaces which is the fiery place of healing.

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So in this conversation we talked about how AJ came to understand her own creativity and how doing so helped her heal.

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We also talked about releasing the pressure and expectations to produce and giving our creativity room to breathe and evolve.

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AJ is so genuine and so kind and she drops many many gems in this conversation that really blessed me and I know hearing from her will bless you too.

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So if you weren't already feeling inspired to get creative you certainly will be after hearing today is conversation so please allow me to introduce you to AJ Clark of Soul rehab

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AJ welcome to balance flag girl I'm so happy to have you today aw thank you so much I have been waiting all week

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for this I'm so excited to be here thank you I'm excited too I think that this is going to be a really fun episode and a really fun conversation so welcome thank you so much for having me

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so I recently found you on social media I think I found your work.

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Through K McCoy who I.

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Love if we be okay it's just the sweetest incredible photographer wonderful human and I want to say that you had put together like a mini creative Retreat for.

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A group of creatives is that.

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Yeah happened recently yes she actually invited me and so there was four of us and they're all black women creatives and Olay entrepreneurs I'm the Newbie

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I had just met everybody which was really fun getting to meet everyone and then

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they've been in business some for like ten years so just being to be around season female entrepreneurs women of color and then the.

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Black 2 and seeing how much I thought my experiences were isolated.

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And then walking into that was just some really didn't know I needed it but I most definitely did.

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Yes yes our ability to.

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He'll and Foster newness through Community is kind of amazing and having those experiences when you realize like oh I'm not the only person going through this and there's other people who have been here before and can relate.

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It's so freeing absolutely and I realized it was the most simple of things like.

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The way we laugh or what we find funny you know and I know I of course probably is like a course that's what

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email it is but being in that space it was so great and one of my biggest resolutions for this year's like prayers was like God I want to be around

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black female entrepreneurs who are Beyond where I'm at or where I want to be and just like praying like that somehow that space we call debate it and it was so

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definitely a win for the year that's so beautiful I love that you said that I've actually had.

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Very very similar prayers lately and so hearing that someone else has wanted that same thing and seeing how it's come to fruition for you is beautiful

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yeah and it's a domino effect because see it like connected us and so it's really cool and I think

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that's something that's so powerful about the like unspoken Sisterhood that I can connects like every black woman is that there's such a willingness to

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and so you know you found me and Kay's introducing the other people and I've been able to start introducing connecting people and so it's such a secret super power that we have the power connectivity.

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Oh absolutely absolutely and I think a big part of it especially for us as black women

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I think in our culture Community is so important so many of us were raised in communal environments or and

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multi-generational homes and just having that closeness with other people in our community.

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That being able to Foster that and continue that it's just so so important and such a big part of who we are definitely and I definitely

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underestimated how much of a life line would be like in my 20s you know and you're in college high school.

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Relationships happen wherever you can find friends like and activities I heard you say like I want pockets like proximity which is so true but then you come to La you're an adult you're figuring life out and then it's like.

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If you don't intentionally cultivate

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that environment of community then you will be on your solo Island and then also throw in a pandemic and then that makes it way times harder and there's that too and I'll just a little detail.

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Just the past two years and I'm like chaos I love what you just said though because

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I think it was yesterday I was on Twitter and I saw a tweet that said I'm going to paraphrase it because I don't remember it word for word but it said something along the lines of.

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Like the reason why so many people see College as their best years is because it was kind of the last time that they were.

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Living in community living within like walkable communities with everything that they needed was accessible and your people

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are just all right there and I was like whoa that is.

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That's so so true when you have the people that you're connected to you have your social.

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Ness you have your school whatever all within one kind of compact community and then you go into adulthood especially moving in a city like La that's huge and spread out and.

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Not walkable and not things are not easily accessible it is a really big difference yeah I think I always think about this that

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if there is one thing I could change about my college experience which I had a great college experience I went to Howard so being surrounded by like all that black Excellence was so much fun but I wish I would have recognized the importance of the

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the placement of the access you have and I realized like.

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In hindsight I kind of did things in Reverse so I feel like our twenties are really what we've start confronting ourselves and figure out who are we who do we want to be what has screwed me up.

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Make me less of a person than I'm less proud of verses for me my college experience was when I really started

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that's a filling process and so while it was so needed and it has reached so many rewards it was also such an isolation period for me because I'm really going through the trenches of

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exploring trauma you know figuring out who am I like how do I like deconstruct these issues that I've had I'd even realize I had so that's all I think I wish I could have changed was

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taking advantage of the access to people you're around yeah that's a beautiful point and it sounds like you were

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ahead of your time in a way that you were stumbling upon realizations and in a space of self-reflection probably a little bit earlier than I think a lot of.

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People are at that time for sure I feel like I've always

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been ahead and buy myself like I started school early like I played varsity basketball when I was like 14 so I'm with like these 18 year olds and stuff so while there's definitely advantages

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it can also be isolate like when you're with people your age and so that's where the creativity part has been truly.

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A game changer for me and understanding how to make sense of everything and then how to find like genuine joy and contentment with where I'm at regardless if I started earlier starting behind.

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Yeah yeah absolutely and it's like all of our paths are so different you know we.

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Sometimes can look at what our peers are doing to be kind of a gauge of time of whether we're you know ahead or behind or ahead of our time and.

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Just because we're experiencing things at different times doesn't necessarily mean that it's you know.

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A different timeline or that it's off track it's like we're all kind of on our own path

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but I would love to talk to you a little bit more about creativity because I think you just made a really beautiful point

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and I would love to talk a little bit more about what your relationship to creativity has been and how creativity has helped you throughout your healing process.

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Yeah absolutely and so

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one I never considered myself to be a creative I feel like growing up and being at Howard like if I saw like the designers or those like curating the fashion shows I was like

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wow they're so cool like I always thought like wow and another life I'd be that so

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like shocker plot twist for me to know that like now like five ten years later like this is how I see myself but.

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For me and my journey started actually when I first started dating my now husband and so he's Ultra creative like left side of the brain drummer producer and we start our like first couple months we put a show together

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and I realize this is fun and this is the first time that

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I want to do something just for the sake of doing it there's no money involved or degree I'm chasing

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like 32nd backstory I am super type A high-achieving so I literally would kept going to school because I did not know what I wanted to do with my life so I graduate moved to LA went straight to a master's got my masters at 23 and then I'm like

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oh crap I'm burnt out from school I don't want to keep going but what do I do now because I was kind of my umbrella of safety and so.

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It was perfect timing surround that time I met him and we did this event and I realized like wow what is this feeling and I now know like

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it's enjoyment you know its purpose is past you know just the fundamentals of Team fun likes not like I never realize like I'm just used to doing school work you know and just you know whatever

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and so that started to evolve and I realize that this was the missing piece and I never could fully fit in any.

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Play.

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I started grad school and a theology degree which was not fun for me and I remember I wanted to do a Beyonce presentation and you know they're all looking at me like

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girl like absolutely not and like or like I had a decent business presentation and I ended up choreographing like a step routine like my mind was always thinking a little bit like

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outside of the box and I didn't understand why so I'm thinking you're just annoying and so when I met him and we did this first event

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it really started to hone in that not only are you creative but the creativity is what's giving me permission to be my full self and I had never understand that before.

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Oh my gosh I think I just got goosebumps yeah you said that yeah and so literally like Fast Forward four years.

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We did an event we did a clothing line I started a whole marketing agency and soul rehab and it literally was like the key to.

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Belonging and safety and the most I think powerful thing for me and fulfilling is that it doesn't require anybody and it was this full acceptance of like.

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No you're supposed to be weird like you're supposed to be annoying and different because that is what brings

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the uniqueness in distinction to and that's what brings something new you know and we go on social media or whatever everybody is just not the same but you know we see so much of the same thing and so I never realized how much.

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Permission I need it just to embrace me and so the creative side has just been like the floodgates which can also.

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Against me and you can just like idea fatigue like idea idea idea but yeah it has been a game changer and so I'm so grateful to have this conversation because it really forced me to think deeper about how.

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The correlation between the wellness and the creativity because I think I'm like oh it's just for fun but realizing no light

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this has been a healing tool that I didn't even know I need it.

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Mmm oh my goodness there's so much that I want to dig into just with that story that you just shared so thank you so much for for sharing about your experiences.

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First I love how you were able to redefine creativity for yourself how you shared that

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you had seen some examples you know when you're younger maybe in college if people you know may be doing design or doing these things and thinking okay maybe I'm not creative because that's not my thing but you were able to find the areas that sparked creativity

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for you that creativity doesn't have to look one way or have to be one modality.

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And then when it became a tool to help you connect deeper with yourself that's so beautiful and deeply profound.

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Yeah and I think for me I realized two there like you said there's this

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I feel like appreciation of a certain expression of being a creative you know the ones we see with the stunning Instagram fees or the dope

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brand Partnerships are now the tick-tocks of the reels that are so cured and so amazing and I realized like.

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We're all creatives because creativity is essentially producing something new and different

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which we all have two offers individuals and so recognizing that and understanding that there's no gatekeeping on what that expression looks like so for some people

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the gift of creativity is you create space

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or you create belonging for others its you create workflow you know you create like if you're like a naughty admin job like you create peace of mind and structure you know you create function and so.

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Taking the lid off of what creativity means and really owning like other day is just what do I bring that it's solely from me that is that this world that has been put inside me

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TV agrees to this were all fully unique and designed from me.

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Oh my God you are preaching oh my God let me just hop off you didn't know keep posting balance black girl because I just want to come back and just listen to you.

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Absolutely loved what you said about us all being creatives in different ways and

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I wholeheartedly agree that there is sometimes this idea of

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what a successful or worthwhile creative is it's like usually something that's very Visual and only appreciated when a person reaches a certain level of success.

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And I think that that programming in our society is really really harmful when we see.

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Creativity as something that's optional or something that's only worthwhile if it has a certain monetary value or you know

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certain career path or whatever when there can be so much creativity and having a different perspective they're gonna be so much creativity and how you solve a problem.

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There can be so much creativity and how you relate to other people and even what you were sharing about like at times feeling weird or wanting to do things differently or asking questions

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those are some of my favorite types of people because people who

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cause me to stop and think differently and look at it from a different perspective or maybe ask a different question are so so valuable

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yeah and I'm so glad you brought it up because

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even as we're on these journeys of unerring cells more of deconstructing pain it's like okay I've got it

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I figured it out and I realized that you know obviously the journey never ends and so for me.

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Once I made this my full-time job I began to fall into a sticky trap like you said and I realized that.

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Somewhere along the line I equated the creativity to production and that is something

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now as I'm walking through wellness and understanding what Wellness looks like of this phase in my life is that your creative without being a producer

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and you have to set those two things apart or else you will Kant one you will reject the gift that is in thee o because you'll burn it out trying to reach this ideal and then secondly.

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There's no permission to experience what it is which is sometimes just for you and.

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As a content creator now as somebody Who develops content for others my mind is always turning strategy is everything

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how can I use this you know and so I've now almost had to go in reverse to creating with the intention of not producing anything from it and that's been a very hard but necessary mindset shift.

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Oof

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can we talk about that a little bit because I love that love that love that so how have you started making that that shift and that transition to separate creativity and production

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I had to go back to the drawing board you know I started off saying you know I'm high-achieving I achievement has been my umbrella of safety it's how I felt.

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Are thought I found perceived belonging so I didn't realize it but it became my new achievement my new wave acceptance was that

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except now it's just branded as a career

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and so one of the first ways was that I had to do the complete antithesis of everything that feels good so I had to start something that I sucked at.

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And had two and two djal intentionally stay in a activity that I am not good at which for me was pottery

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and so I started pottery and I'm thinking

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oh yes I am having my moment I'm gonna make me reels about I'm gonna have the overalls with like messy bun like I'm some rom-com I've seen you know like I could not wait I was just like yes.

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This is going to be yet this going to be so good it's going to be so curated and I was awful and it was a four-hour class and.

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I was like I'm not going back and I first I told myself I don't have the time for this it's four hours like who has the time for for I'm a businesswoman and then I was like.

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You don't like the fact that you're not good at it and not only are you not good at it but you don't have a pathway to getting good at it fast and so I really was like.

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Wow am I that like meaty for achievement

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and I was like hell yeah you are like number one task like go let's start working on this and so I really had to sit down myself and be like no this is exactly where you need to be and I had a

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tell myself that one you've already done yourself a disservice entering this with an expectation of

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a successful outcome when in reality the success is just doing it and so

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I had to rearrange my incentive for doing it it wasn't because they look cute on Instagram it was little because it's new it does allow me to be creative but you get to be a beginner

00:25:04.840 --> 00:25:14.160
and you get to stay a beginner and the man whose teaching is amazing he's like his grandfather's I forget what you call like not a wood maker but.

00:25:14.301 --> 00:25:28.860
Clay maker I don't know I'm using the wrong try but you know been in Pottery his dad was a pottery person and now he is and he's been doing it for 12 years so yes your stuff is going to look like a phallic symbol because like and it's gonna contagious.

00:25:28.885 --> 00:25:36.918
It's okay yeah oh my goodness I loved what you said about being liked.

00:25:37.095 --> 00:25:45.272
Thirsty for high achievements I'm like you read me read me me too I've seen myself and that statement yes.

00:25:45.386 --> 00:25:53.707
But I also am curious you know I think I completely agree that I think it's so good for particularly high-achieving people.

00:25:54.172 --> 00:26:08.804
Who have put a lot of expectation on themselves I guess I should say ourselves because I've definitely have been hard on myself in the same ways to be in spaces where we are trying new things and where we aren't good at it

00:26:08.711 --> 00:26:20.552
but I do think that for some people that could almost illicit like a trauma response because the desire to be high-achieving in to attach ourselves to outcomes is a trauma response so I do wonder if

00:26:20.477 --> 00:26:22.874
being bad at something while we're.

00:26:22.898 --> 00:26:37.071
Getting used to it and getting comfortable with it could almost be triggering in a way where there any moments when you were taking on new creative Endeavors that you had to remind yourself like okay I am safe if if this does not have a beautiful outcome like

00:26:36.996 --> 00:26:42.751
it's okay how were you able to keep yourself kind of regulated and and feeling safe.

00:26:42.937 --> 00:26:51.339
Who has to go and it's definitely was an ongoing thing because I like I said everything is through strategy and I've realized

00:26:51.291 --> 00:26:56.723
to a deficit so high want to know the fastest way to get home.

00:26:56.774 --> 00:27:10.181
And I will literally think through every stop sign every stoplight versus just going on the ride home like who cares if it's like a two-minute extra right and so I had to and I constantly have to retrain myself not to

00:27:10.178 --> 00:27:15.105
strategically plan out everything and not too.

00:27:15.219 --> 00:27:29.626
Look at everything's up and I'm a marketer so that is the job is to literally find the outcome was the most efficient way the most creative way and so the healing and won't and creating a place of safety has definitely been.

00:27:30.406 --> 00:27:34.415
Owning the beginning and owning that this is a place of.

00:27:34.763 --> 00:27:47.144
Being a beginner this is a place to learn this is a place where you get the purpose Shinto site and having to deconstruct my associations with failing or not being good and I realized that.

00:27:47.151 --> 00:27:50.781
For me being good is how I've always heard my stay.

00:27:51.030 --> 00:28:05.410
And so it's how I have allowed myself to navigate different higher education environments how even being in Allah you know I have been able to in my eyes are in my stay because I'm good.

00:28:05.659 --> 00:28:19.841
And now I'm having to deconstruct it and recognize know you've earned your say because you're you and the so fundamental on every coffee mug but oh so necessary your enough like you.

00:28:19.982 --> 00:28:30.094
It's okay like and having to recognize that the gifts are an asset they are an enhancement of you but they are not you and that is the constant.

00:28:30.289 --> 00:28:36.846
Retraining of the mind and retraining of like if you ever want to have peace in your life.

00:28:36.861 --> 00:28:44.471
If you ever want to just be and not like have an aneurysm or like some type of crazy stress-induced Behavior

00:28:44.324 --> 00:28:54.166
you have to learn to accept that it's you and your that's that's the magic that is the acceptance that is the password needed to be in these environments

00:28:54.037 --> 00:28:57.110
and so it's still a journey

00:28:56.954 --> 00:29:15.610
but you are giving us so many gems right now thank you so much for sharing these these learnings that you've had because this is incredible I literally prayed before and I was like feel like it's such a gift to be welcomed on this because you've cultivated such a beautiful place I was like God like please just let me add something

00:29:15.490 --> 00:29:25.413
to this like already beautiful space I'm gonna have to be here but I appreciate that but it's like you were just saying like you add to this space by being you.

00:29:25.509 --> 00:29:31.886
That's what you're doing right now is you're just being you and that adds so much yeah thank you very much

00:29:31.838 --> 00:29:45.371
it's what I just learned from you just now so I know I was like literally like thank God we're recording this cuz I'm gonna have to like tell like as we're talking like oh needed to hear that oh I was dealing with this like so it's cool.

00:29:45.377 --> 00:29:56.147
I feel that way all the time there are so many times where it's maybe sitting down to record or creating a piece of content where a message will kind of come through and flow through me because

00:29:56.054 --> 00:30:08.939
I will usually feel like that's what God wants people to hear and I'm just a messenger for it I'm like oh yeah I needed that too because this isn't it's not just just me being me it's like me sharing a message that I also need

00:30:08.819 --> 00:30:17.707
I pray and I feel like this is such a game changer to because like what you're focusing so much on like the healing that going for the.

00:30:17.749 --> 00:30:27.448
Keep staff you know that's what celery have is it is going beyond the surface of what we say self-love like the bubble Bass the t is cute but what is it actually.

00:30:27.472 --> 00:30:41.338
Beyond the motivational quotes and so which is amazing and it's needed and I feel like it's the gateway to such a joy-filled life but it's heavy and is isolating and so this is such a refreshment and it's so funny because

00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:48.099
I originally started podcasting almost two years or over two years ago and then I was thinking to myself this morning like

00:30:47.961 --> 00:31:00.324
wow it's so funny how I've had literally even the equipment I'm seeing things I've bought two years ago I'm having platforms that I've used before but now it's just now coming together and how

00:31:00.159 --> 00:31:07.958
we can have these ideas and we can have these goals but like the timing of it and how God is like nope not yet.

00:31:08.198 --> 00:31:20.957
Not yet you're getting there and if you're not careful you'll get resentful because you're like oh did it for nothing clearly I'm a failure when it's like no we're building we're building and now it's finally here and so that's why it's so cool to be here.

00:31:21.008 --> 00:31:31.625
Just that that element of timing is so important because I think one of my biggest lessons is that I have done so much of trying to call things in either

00:31:31.460 --> 00:31:37.999
before I was ready for them or before I had created space for them whether that was ideas

00:31:37.942 --> 00:31:49.828
creative Endeavors projects relationships opportunities so many things that I'd like wanted to happen so badly on my timeline that when I learned how to ease up and actually create

00:31:49.780 --> 00:31:54.131
the space for those things to happen they happened when they needed to happen.

00:31:54.380 --> 00:32:02.359
Yeah yeah I mean it's so funny because we literally are so like create like that core word of what it means and how.

00:32:02.635 --> 00:32:14.656
The elements it's a process you know it's not like okay I have this idea okay I'm done I mean for some people sure if you're like an expert in it but the general idea of even like creation is like.

00:32:14.689 --> 00:32:28.600
Their steps there's layers there's editing and there's rest you know you go back to the creation story like the original architect like there's so much need it for creating and I realized that.

00:32:28.660 --> 00:32:34.362
It's been very fascinating because like celery has been something in my heart for so long but like

00:32:34.287 --> 00:32:42.347
I'm like okay it's just now coming which let is also exciting because as I've learned to trust the process I've learned to get excited for when it does happen.

00:32:42.407 --> 00:32:48.792
You know instead of like I was just was before but Trustee of its time that it must be time.

00:32:48.961 --> 00:33:02.089
Right right yes and a big part of why I wanted to have conversations about creativity in this current series on the podcast because we've been talking a lot about motherhood in the earlier episodes and we started kind of.

00:33:02.410 --> 00:33:06.581
Finding the intersection between motherhood and creativity.

00:33:07.271 --> 00:33:18.392
But in a lot of ways I think our creativity can be like birth right it's like you nurture and you hold this idea

00:33:18.389 --> 00:33:21.534
and then you birth the idea and that is.

00:33:21.621 --> 00:33:34.344
Just the beginning and that is just the beginning of everything that is to come and there's just so many intersections there that I think are important for everyone to understand

00:33:34.305 --> 00:33:46.290
yeah absolutely when I realized I was a creative whatever that means it was called complete rebirth because it completely for the first time

00:33:46.224 --> 00:33:52.510
had direction of what I wanted to do and I've never phrase many degrees as I have I've never had Direction

00:33:52.454 --> 00:33:57.561
and it used to drive people crazy they be like why are you moving to La why are you getting your mom absolutely

00:33:57.477 --> 00:34:08.030
I don't know I just seen this is where God wants me to so that's enough no plan no career title you know and so it was a complete rebirth once I could understand like mmmm.

00:34:08.262 --> 00:34:20.949
This is what you're supposed to do yeah so that we can be reborn time and time again we are we have so many different iterations of ourselves sometimes I think of it as like iOS updates I'm like

00:34:20.910 --> 00:34:29.375
but what I left am I popping out with himself in this era what is my era

00:34:29.336 --> 00:34:32.750
sir I love Chris is that's so funny I love that

00:34:32.658 --> 00:34:44.589
it is this is just a little analogies that help us understand ourselves better and make us laugh make it more fun because sometimes in this is something I've struggled with two even in my own creativity and even my own content.

00:34:44.829 --> 00:34:50.044
It's a lot of the stuff that we do talk about when it comes to well-being and when it comes to Healing like that's not.

00:34:50.095 --> 00:34:57.165
Necessarily light stuff and you do have to be careful with it but I also think that there's so much joy and.

00:34:57.783 --> 00:35:05.546
Fun and laughter that can also be had in healing and so I'm constantly challenging myself to infuse more of that into what I do.

00:35:05.651 --> 00:35:20.157
Yeah and something that I've had to tell myself and this goes especially for you is that you're at a very unique intersection because Wellness is not only in your lifestyle it is a part of your brand you know content creation is not

00:35:20.037 --> 00:35:28.835
just something you do for fun it is something that helps pay the bills and so while that is a beautiful gift that also.

00:35:28.850 --> 00:35:33.786
Completely amplifies the normal pressure that people have and so.

00:35:33.918 --> 00:35:48.460
That's something that I've struggled with because for instance like if I'm not posting on Instagram consistently for so rehab I know the algorithms going to punish me I know as a marketer this goes against everything I tell my clients to do yet

00:35:48.277 --> 00:35:49.909
as a individual

00:35:49.861 --> 00:36:03.566
this isn't the best for my well-being yes this is harmful because I'm chasing consumption this is not so the words that I need to share can't even get out because the intention isn't there and so

00:36:03.509 --> 00:36:14.620
that has been very interesting having to free myself because my worlds are essentially they overlap but they also are colliding because the marketer and me is like no

00:36:14.590 --> 00:36:22.767
do it you need to be pushing out content you need you know better and Pemba sorry ha warmest isn't he's like.

00:36:23.053 --> 00:36:31.670
Give yourself permission you deserve grace to you get to take a break and so it's a constant tension of both of them.

00:36:31.731 --> 00:36:38.674
Yes it's so true and these algorithms like do not have wellness and mind oh of course

00:36:38.473 --> 00:36:41.987
even like I found out recently like Zillow

00:36:41.777 --> 00:36:51.935
has an algorithm and believe I thought it was just you know like for Instagram or social media and so their algorithm is a part of if you're constantly checking the value of your home.

00:36:51.950 --> 00:36:57.201
Like my parents were looking to potentially sell their home their algorithm tells you a lower price

00:36:57.108 --> 00:37:10.740
the more frequently you're visiting so that you can then go and you know you get different prices I'm like oh my gosh it's everywhere it's so algorithm is a bit of a trigger word

00:37:10.575 --> 00:37:26.359
because it's manipulation yeah and so going back to the content aspect of it I'm sure you feel it that depending on which side you choose as the business person or as though Wellness individual individual who needs Wellness you can sometimes feel like a fraud

00:37:26.194 --> 00:37:31.490
and an imposter syndrome comes in because then it's like am I pushing out this newsletter

00:37:31.335 --> 00:37:44.094
because I believe it or am I like going against what I say about wellness and know what I say about balance to try you know it is so that's where I've had to check in with myself and

00:37:43.920 --> 00:37:48.334
I've had to like I said start doing stuff that has nothing to do with outcomes.

00:37:48.493 --> 00:37:56.688
Even today I knew this was happening the audio equipment wasn't working and I had a decision to me do I.

00:37:56.757 --> 00:38:09.903
Because obviously when you're serving clients you just want to make them happy you know I feel like it's a great privilege story for myself to be able to make it in ale and so I'm always like what do they need fur and I had to tell myself that.

00:38:10.162 --> 00:38:16.457
They will be okay and even if there's a little push back later this is something you're doing for you

00:38:16.319 --> 00:38:24.397
and that that's enough reason and it's so simple but the cringe Enos and the resistance I've felt and like

00:38:24.322 --> 00:38:31.626
letting myself just be present because I'd want I didn't want to be stressed trying to do this

00:38:31.479 --> 00:38:39.953
to this is one of the first interviews I'm doing as I start my own podcast journey and so I was like it's really important you know and not to adjust to.

00:38:40.121 --> 00:38:45.003
Hold space in offer space and not just take from it and so

00:38:44.991 --> 00:38:52.745
giving that was like a big thing and I actually think it's so crazy but I'm learning that I think Soul rehab is like.

00:38:53.120 --> 00:38:58.641
God's hidden way of creating more balance in my life away from my marketing business.

00:38:58.765 --> 00:39:07.752
Yeah and I never really I thought like again like a business management strategy we're going to blow this thing up versus IMA I've like how to be like

00:39:07.704 --> 00:39:13.450
if it never goes anywhere if you stay with the 50 subscribers you have like

00:39:13.339 --> 00:39:24.226
that's cool that is more than enough and you got to own that and recognize that the outcome cannot just be these very limited Pathways of success.

00:39:24.772 --> 00:39:29.645
Oh my gosh I love love love that take away.

00:39:29.877 --> 00:39:35.623
Because if we were to think about using that example of like 50 subscribers or whatever.

00:39:36.376 --> 00:39:50.747
If you had 50 people in a room and were able to touch them with a message like that would be amazing I have 50 people in here right now alright full that's kind of amazing and I think the internet has given us this distorted

00:39:50.717 --> 00:39:56.382
illusion of what impact is and I've even felt that I.

00:39:56.487 --> 00:40:08.652
Constantly have to remind myself and surround myself with people who remind me like you are helping people and the number doesn't matter if it's one person who is touched it is now going to do something.

00:40:08.676 --> 00:40:13.054
Differently I as an example I had just been having

00:40:13.024 --> 00:40:23.785
kind of a hard time lately finding my footing with where I want to take everything next I feel myself being called to Pivot but not sure what that pivot is and I.

00:40:23.917 --> 00:40:31.923
My mom had recently come down to California and we spent the weekend with our great-aunt and I was just talking to my mom about like oh my gosh like

00:40:31.803 --> 00:40:41.321
I just feel like I'm not doing enough I'm not helping people enough it's just I'm not it's not moving the needle and she said something so simple she was like.

00:40:41.751 --> 00:40:51.035
But when we were with our aunt she drank more water in that weekend than she probably had in years from us influencing her and I was like.

00:40:51.374 --> 00:41:01.099
You're right and thinking about that I'm like that's something so small but also so huge that feels so good simple impact that we can have on one person can go.

00:41:01.178 --> 00:41:08.382
So far and it's no less meaningful than reaching however many people through whatever medium.

00:41:09.811 --> 00:41:12.991
Yeah I've had a check myself recently that

00:41:12.917 --> 00:41:21.148
if sorry habits what you say at us which is you know a resource for women to belong to be and become too

00:41:21.100 --> 00:41:23.992
and if one person does that then you've done your job

00:41:23.989 --> 00:41:34.264
you know and I've had to really check myself so do you actually want to help people or do you want a successful front-facing Collective.

00:41:34.612 --> 00:41:44.580
Do you want to encourage be a source of encouragement or do you want to have a certain following on Instagram because that's what you think is legit

00:41:44.451 --> 00:41:50.180
legitimate and what legitimacy looks like and every time I have those thoughts on my own

00:41:50.123 --> 00:41:55.437
let me go some myself down in the corner and get my priorities straight and so

00:41:55.398 --> 00:42:06.276
so fascinating because I just launched the newsletter and 50 subscribers and I was excited because I was like I haven't really done much and.

00:42:06.570 --> 00:42:15.377
You know it's been two years so I mean over the course of two years it's not a lot but I realize like if that's you know the starting point

00:42:15.248 --> 00:42:25.324
you know and it's like you said if it's a room of 50 people then you've won like shout out to eat like this is great that is enough and even emits.

00:42:25.466 --> 00:42:36.262
Humble beginnings there have been people who have deemed me you know or who have like done like we have like a vent free where you just literally being you somewhere to get it out.

00:42:36.404 --> 00:42:47.335
This is your place and one woman she was dealing with domestic abuse like fully and wow she did not know and I was so honored it at that point

00:42:47.314 --> 00:43:00.604
none of the other stuff matters you know doesn't matter how many subscribers I have it doesn't matter you know Instagram or anything because I've been day like what you say you want to do is doing so it may not come and I've really had to like.

00:43:00.755 --> 00:43:10.480
Release myself like like from what success looks like and that really isn't every facet of my life but especially with some rehab and so.

00:43:10.918 --> 00:43:15.161
And I think about it like churches you know I used to think that.

00:43:15.248 --> 00:43:23.533
If you're a mega church you've done it right clearly your success with the small ones they're not doing it right in recently last year my grandfather passed.

00:43:23.828 --> 00:43:27.539
And the church I grew up in they were the most.

00:43:27.662 --> 00:43:37.640
Supportive old group of people like they called us they sent us meals you know they constantly they had they had the.

00:43:37.997 --> 00:43:48.200
Members calm like it was during the covid still so they stood outside and sing songs like and I was like so it was such a mindset shift about

00:43:48.143 --> 00:43:57.112
it has nothing to do with size and almost that recognizing that the smallness is what allows that intimacy what allows that support to be.

00:43:57.298 --> 00:44:05.952
The most present you know I can talk directly to my community because it's not this overwhelming like million followers and

00:44:05.886 --> 00:44:09.787
while there's pros do that you know you reach more people it also can.

00:44:09.874 --> 00:44:22.453
Eliminate the impact or the direct impact and so that has really get freed me up and allowed me to just enjoy wherever the process goes wherever the sun's up that.

00:44:22.630 --> 00:44:28.359
There is Prost at every part of it and if impact is what I want then you've already won.

00:44:29.373 --> 00:44:33.940
Oh my gosh Mike drop that was.

00:44:34.207 --> 00:44:39.611
Such such such a beautiful beautiful message.

00:44:40.590 --> 00:44:52.629
And I could not agree more and it almost relates back to what we had initially talked about around community and that sense of closeness and bond and shared experience and.

00:44:52.662 --> 00:45:01.307
When you are and more intimate spaces it is easier to create that that shared experience and to have that sense of.

00:45:01.358 --> 00:45:05.196
Closeness that really does help you show up for one another.

00:45:05.499 --> 00:45:11.390
Absolutely yeah even the retreat you know what made it so impactful was that there was four of us

00:45:11.324 --> 00:45:20.680
everybody got to be heard everybody got to present everybody got to tell their jokes and so that's why now I kind of go back and forth about.

00:45:20.767 --> 00:45:29.115
You know I feel our society especially our Millennial social media loving salves which I'm guilty of it aside.

00:45:29.157 --> 00:45:35.632
It dilutes that intimate connection and I am I'm an extrovert or introvert

00:45:35.585 --> 00:45:50.207
so at the heart I can show up I can be present when I'm comfortable all engaged but then I need to go fill up on my own and it's really challenged me of order these like what are these channels and their intention.

00:45:50.321 --> 00:46:01.262
And what does it do to us and I know there are studies done on my connection and you know the impact of social media on mental health so this is nothing new Under the Sun but it has challenged me to.

00:46:01.529 --> 00:46:10.462
Like I told myself beginning early last year I said I want to live a life so good I can't post about it then so that's kind of been a mindset.

00:46:10.477 --> 00:46:25.406
So it's very ironic because I do Consecration and social media manager but if you look on my personal it's private it has four hundred followers like I removed so many people because most of them I didn't actually know you know when your

00:46:25.376 --> 00:46:34.507
per your profiles open you just anybody can follow you and so and really trying to tell myself that the intention is to live a life Sokka that is to say.

00:46:34.523 --> 00:46:43.375
It just to just dispose for anybody to see and that has really helped me unlocked a new level I think of contentment and intentionality.

00:46:44.335 --> 00:46:53.466
Yes like living a life that's that's so authentically yours your present you don't even need to whip out the phone in you know.

00:46:53.760 --> 00:46:55.915
Projected it's like.

00:46:56.560 --> 00:47:04.548
You're so deeply in it right and so that's helped me to I think kind of set boundaries as a marketer that.

00:47:04.671 --> 00:47:13.586
There are times where you create tons and you're finding that perfect angle times when you know you got to capture it all and then there's as a person though.

00:47:13.664 --> 00:47:14.856
No

00:47:14.781 --> 00:47:28.467
that's not how we do it we put it on that we like obsessively seeing out loud when it's so bad and it's so much they were just there and then the moment because now I've realized that

00:47:28.338 --> 00:47:38.027
I think sometimes we think I'll let me record something so I can remember it and so now I want to be so present that like it's really imprinted on my mind regardless of if it's on that device.

00:47:38.286 --> 00:47:53.439
Yeah it's so much more natural to reflect on our memories and it is to go through our camera roll because I've recorded so many things that I've never looked at again hi I have like 30,000 photos and videos on my iPhone and I'll prove them every once in a while but

00:47:53.283 --> 00:47:58.778
yeah being present has been and I realized us you know when you talk about connection

00:47:58.712 --> 00:48:12.929
those are the moments those feelings of and I it's so funny because I'll see you like these day in the time sometimes I have to create them for clients like the day in the life Vlogs or reels and they're so aesthetic you know they're so cute and I was telling my husband like

00:48:12.755 --> 00:48:21.940
do you know what it actually takes to do these look you're literally putting a camera in your shower and you're looking while your shower then you're like okay wait wait let me stop and that you're trying to do it like in the.

00:48:21.947 --> 00:48:28.116
The mental thought process of having to pre think you're living is what drives has saying.

00:48:28.428 --> 00:48:34.958
And it's session mentally and so and I was like that's the that's what we don't see is that

00:48:34.928 --> 00:48:45.265
it looks so good at the end but you're literally trying to think in Pre feet and curate like as of her fortune tellers almost to get this man shot and so.

00:48:45.389 --> 00:48:46.751
I've had it to myself like.

00:48:46.820 --> 00:48:58.319
You don't get to do it as often because it remove it completely defeats the purpose it makes me stress because I'm like oh I forgot to get that angle let me go back and reshoot and then it's just a cycle of

00:48:58.298 --> 00:49:10.166
consumption and a cycle of like you're there but never there and so I've had it like those scenes like I think as a content creator I feel like I fundamentally really begin to deconstruct

00:49:10.163 --> 00:49:21.121
what is actually happy why the best the final product is this beautiful real or this beautiful imagery the process it takes to get there and the something that I'm constantly

00:49:21.055 --> 00:49:23.633
at conflict and my core is like is it worth it.

00:49:24.026 --> 00:49:33.626
And so now it's my job of course it pays the bills you know but I really think about and I'm like oh this is so contradicting to what I do.

00:49:34.028 --> 00:49:42.853
But I think it's so refreshing that you are so honest about it and that you are asking those questions because.

00:49:42.868 --> 00:49:50.910
As someone who runs a creative agency it could be very easy for you to be like it's great these are great everybody should do it but the fact that you

00:49:50.718 --> 00:49:58.688
think critically about it and that you encourage other people to think critically about it is so important and I really appreciate that perspective.

00:49:58.991 --> 00:50:06.979
Yeah and actually I've not I think it was funny I've made it my selling point so I've made it when clients come to me I'm like.

00:50:07.057 --> 00:50:17.340
Let go of the consumption let go of the burden of having it all figured out I'll do it for you so yeah we thought it's also great selling point.

00:50:17.374 --> 00:50:26.361
It is but then it's like what about you right which is why you know everybody has to work and so I'm like within the bounds of

00:50:26.313 --> 00:50:28.179
you know providing for yourself.

00:50:28.266 --> 00:50:39.486
It's acceptable it's just when those boundaries start to get crossed out you have to like reassess and that's why I'm solutely you only can take so much client work that's why you have to

00:50:39.456 --> 00:50:45.472
find people to support you and also I had a realize that.

00:50:45.830 --> 00:50:52.909
I have to have something for myself and that's what I didn't realize when I like I said when I first realized I have a creative like I figured it out

00:50:52.879 --> 00:50:57.995
life I know what my plan of action is but I didn't realize like that / like the.

00:50:58.244 --> 00:51:05.800
Mine Twist of trying to not be a producer and have that can literally destroy my creativity so.

00:51:05.932 --> 00:51:14.568
And I used to think that creativity was just about how much can I do and I realized it's not just about how much I can do but

00:51:14.502 --> 00:51:27.414
the capacity to have for it and so as I've my business has grown I've had to get more support not because I need it for I can't do it myself but because I need some creative goodness

00:51:27.375 --> 00:51:35.912
for me I need it for the projects that matter to me and not just out to everybody else and so like you said it's a constant dance

00:51:35.882 --> 00:51:45.257
yeah creating that space for yourself and I think boundaries probably come into play there and even thinking through I'm like man boundaries are.

00:51:45.425 --> 00:51:57.437
Really important part of being creative if you don't protect your ability to focus if you don't protect your creativity it's really really hard to savor it.

00:51:57.533 --> 00:52:10.544
And that's why I like I've learned especially with soul recap that if something happens and like for instance I didn't actually plan to launch my newsletter last week but the feeling Kayla me so strong like

00:52:10.415 --> 00:52:14.325
you have to get this out and I realized when I have those moments.

00:52:14.331 --> 00:52:23.327
You have to stop everything you have to surrender because one it's a gift to have that inside you and two because the way my mind works I will probably forget it

00:52:23.324 --> 00:52:33.212
and so that has also been interesting as like surrendering to that process of if you feel that strong inspiration I guess is the word then you gotta.

00:52:33.218 --> 00:52:41.674
Surrender and let it guide you into the unknown of reverie because clearly something's happening and so that's been very fascinating of like learning how to paint

00:52:41.626 --> 00:52:48.623
thought I was gonna do be super productive today but I guess I gotta sit and right you know yeah yeah.

00:52:49.107 --> 00:52:54.952
And that such a beautiful beautiful part of being in flow is knowing when to listen to that exactly.

00:52:55.192 --> 00:53:07.132
So I'd love to talk a little bit more about Soul rehab because we have talked about it we've mentioned it but I would love to get into it a little bit more about what inspired you to create it and what can we look forward

00:53:07.003 --> 00:53:12.795
to from Soul rehab because I know after listening to this conversation.

00:53:13.026 --> 00:53:26.730
All of our people I'm sure are going to want to come find you they're going to want to subscribe to the newsletter they're going to want to tune in the podcast I was gonna cook you fed us we have that gift I'll thank you just saying that like that is all the

00:53:26.583 --> 00:53:33.914
that I mean I'm so sorry have is an online women's Collective and we're all about doing the work.

00:53:33.947 --> 00:53:47.471
What inspired me was my own personal Journey I've been through crazy stuff and like you said I think my healing Journey had a start early then most which I now think it's because I was supposed to help others three bears and so

00:53:47.370 --> 00:53:53.872
but what inspired me was the mindset shift because she now dealing with mental health dealing with depression dealing with trauma.

00:53:54.049 --> 00:54:01.146
You start to wonder is this it and I think that was always the core thought that fed my depression was that.

00:54:01.440 --> 00:54:11.508
Nothing will change and that's where helplessness enters you know and that's how those feelings continue to circulate and so inspired me for cell rehab was

00:54:11.352 --> 00:54:20.825
literally I think it was 2017 like I told God like it was New Year's abs like something has to change I don't know how I don't know

00:54:20.732 --> 00:54:33.797
where I don't see I don't even know if I believe that it will but if I don't I will literally die because I cannot continue to just be consumed with pain the way that I am and so

00:54:33.713 --> 00:54:41.107
started the journey and you know it's a continual Journey but it was that mindset shift of.

00:54:41.338 --> 00:54:44.816
Pain doesn't if this isn't it like

00:54:44.642 --> 00:54:59.183
this is not where my story ends and this can no longer Define me or else I will never live and so sorry have I always say like the website like now it's like welcome home Warrior because I believe like we all are we all have had

00:54:59.019 --> 00:55:06.664
immeasurable pain you know we've all had our own journeys of trauma but it does it in there and I used to really think that like

00:55:06.599 --> 00:55:14.712
joy and happiness has reserved for a select few and now the work of Soul rehab is about showing like it's for everybody we just got to do the work

00:55:14.620 --> 00:55:24.714
and Beyond like the cookie cutter like self love stuff like what is that actually look like so sorry I was all about cultivating space for your space

00:55:24.612 --> 00:55:31.898
and then rooting you on along the way and so and reminding you of the warrior within so yeah.

00:55:31.958 --> 00:55:41.053
That's incredible I'll thank you so much for sharing those aspects of your journey with us for sharing what you've learned and creating space for other people is so important.

00:55:41.221 --> 00:55:43.511
Yeah thank you and so.

00:55:43.571 --> 00:55:55.376
Have a podcast with sure one of our guests so I cannot wait for that there's a newsletter that goes out weekly just you know it's called the lovely newsletter just to remind you some of the lovely things.

00:55:55.391 --> 00:56:06.989
Every bit of your day has to offer and eventually we're gonna have some other stuff coming but for now we're on Instagram and so if you want just some aesthetic and some encouragement

00:56:06.788 --> 00:56:10.770
give us a shout other than that it's just really

00:56:10.749 --> 00:56:16.891
being that cheerleader to do the work and to know that like it does get better you know.

00:56:16.978 --> 00:56:22.832
I love the quote the pain isn't your responsibility but the healing is and just taking

00:56:22.812 --> 00:56:30.340
things into your own like creating being MetLife architect recognizing that like I do I'm one of them worthy of

00:56:30.239 --> 00:56:41.242
happiness I'm worthy of relief from pain and then to I have the authority to cultivate something beyond what I'm experiencing right now.

00:56:41.320 --> 00:56:48.129
And for it to be a lasting thing oh my gosh yes I think that that's just such.

00:56:48.153 --> 00:56:56.087
And on point message for for all of us to hear and embody and understand so thank you

00:56:56.012 --> 00:57:01.812
now thank you so much this has been so fun yes so for everybody listening

00:57:01.648 --> 00:57:14.578
I'll make sure that we have all of Soul rehabs information Linked In the show notes you can check out the Instagram the podcast you can subscribe to the newsletter it'll all be right there to make it super easy for you to follow along

00:57:14.449 --> 00:57:16.243
yes thank you so much.

00:57:16.474 --> 00:57:25.272
Oh my gosh thank you
didn't I tell you that she was amazing

00:57:25.152 --> 00:57:27.613
she has an Incredible Gift to it.

00:57:27.772 --> 00:57:43.844
Life over and into others and I know after that conversation you're going to want to check out everything that she's doing so head to the show notes to follow Soul Rehab on social to subscribe to her newsletter and be in the know when she drops her podcast which is coming

00:57:43.679 --> 00:57:44.546
soon.

00:57:45.209 --> 00:57:55.394
Want to give a huge thank you to everyone who tuned in to the show today for listening truly could not do this without you and I also want to thank our sponsors who helped make production of this show

00:57:55.193 --> 00:57:56.123
possible

00:57:55.949 --> 00:58:14.524
make sure you grab the hook up codes and offers from the show notes because when you use our codes and are links that tells our sponsors that you're listening and that you want to support the show and that's what makes them want to work with us so we get to work with sponsors who make production possible you get discounts and bonus goodies it's really a win

00:58:14.395 --> 00:58:15.226
Quinn.

00:58:15.295 --> 00:58:25.074
Next week we're wrapping up the new life and creativity series with a conversation about art motherhood and how creativity can help us Bloom with artist Cristina Martinez.

00:58:25.117 --> 00:58:33.122
It's a beautiful finale to what has been a powerful Series so make sure you're subscribed so that you have the episode waiting for you as soon as it drops.

00:58:33.228 --> 00:58:35.265
And if you like the show don't forget to leave a rating and review.

00:58:35.120 --> 00:58:49.762
Music.