How to Create and Stick to a Budget, Pay off Debt, and Reach Your Financial Goals with Dyana King

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Music.

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Happy Tuesday if you happen to be listening to this that it comes out or on a Tuesday and if not then we'll happy day to whatever day it is that you're tuning in.

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Thank you for listening to balance by Carl my name is Les I'm your host and I'm grateful that you're tuned in.

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If you're new to listening to balance black girl I run this show in many seasons or series as I call them we're 46 fish weeks we'll explore a specific topic or area of well-being and personal development.

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Right now I'm very focused on financial Wellness in my life and I wanted to bring conversations about financial Wellness to the podcast which is why we are in the midst of our money and abundance series.

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I kicked off the series last week with a conversation on time abundance and the value of our time and this week we are getting into the money.

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I don't know about you but it feels like every time I turn around there's another headline about money whether it's about the stock market being down.

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The potential for a recession student loan forgiveness inflation there are just so many things vying for our resources at the moment.

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And we're simply not in a time where we can bury our heads in the sand and avoid our finances we can't be out here spending

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and not checking our accounts and statements to see where we're at not when gas is looking the way it is when groceries and rent are Sky High.

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We have to be engaged with our money especially if we want to be financially well and that is what today's episode is all about.

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Habits we have around money are incredibly important whether you have a lot of money or a little like someone could have all the money in the world but if they don't have sound money habits or don't treat their money.

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Music.

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Talk to today's guest Diana King

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Diana is the founder of money boss Mama a personal finance company that helps single moms improve their money habits so they can pay off debt

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and build their savings.

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After stumbling into the personal finance World Diana has managed to become debt free on a moderate income is now on a mission to help other single women do the same

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Diane and I have actually been mutual's on social media for years and I've Loved following her journey and have been so inspired by her for a long time

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she's a testament to the fact that we don't have to have six figure salaries and all these things we see online to create a solid Financial foundation and reach our goals she's all about looking at where you're at and implementing strategies that meet you where

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you are so we talked about her debt payment Journey we talked about her savings Journey how she talks about money and teaches money to her children it's just

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jam-packed episode with Incredible information that we all need to build a better Financial foundation so I'm excited to introduce you to Diana I know you are going to learn so much from her.

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Hurst.

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Music.

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Welcome to balance black girl I'm so excited to have you here today so for our listeners who do not know Diana and I have actually been IG mutual's.

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Years like actually a really long time we've been following each other so I'm excited to have you on the podcast and to actually talk to you outside of IG.

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Thank you so much for having me RA like one of the first health and wellness podcast I found so like this is a surreal moment for me.

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I appreciate that so so much thank you so this current series on the podcast is

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all about money and we're talking about the intersection of well-being and money and as I was putting this series together you're one of the first people I thought of because I've Loved following your journey over the last several years and just feel like you have an amazing

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way of teaching people and encouraging people your financial resume is like incredible I have it here so you've paid off 35,000 dollars in debt.

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You have saved a six-month emergency fund which is amazing got your net worth to 76k and Counting as a single mom of two.

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All amazing amazing stuff so I'm excited to share with our community here how you did it and your advice for other people who are looking to

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to be a little bit more mindful of their finances yes I'm excited to chat a little.

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Get to it yes absolutely so I would love for you to kind of start at the beginning to tell us a bit more about your money story your debt free Journey kind of how you got started and how you got to where you are now.

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So I started my debt free journey and September of 2016 but I would say that the preparation of actually.

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Hitting the green light kind of started a couple of years before that so when I turned 18 I was a Sonic CarHop my mom got me like this eight hundred dollar car using her child support payment

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and needless to say it was a little raggedy and as an 18 year-old I'm looking at my classmates

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and there are new Mustangs I remember the Mustangs came out the newer model there in Mercedes and I'm just feeling like at that time

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I Define financial success by what you had and so the second I turn 18 I was like I'm getting myself a new car

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because I deserve it.

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And Then There came the habit of saying I deserve it to acquire these things and so needless to say my auto loan was my very first dead and it took up.

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One of my paychecks

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per month when they the way that they put it it didn't seem like it was going to be that much and I was like oh I can do this but needless to say like when I got pregnant with my first born my second year in college

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things really started to change because I had to take care of.

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A child on one paycheck a month and I went from you know riding around in my new car

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feeling good about myself to how the heck can I get rid of this car because it's ruining my life I literally remember saying this auto loan is ruining my life I can't do anything like I can't take care of myself I'm still in diapers for my daughter I can't pay for.

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Daycare like I hope they don't come back and get me but I was taking money like hoping that my job didn't realize because I was working with physical cash because

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I was like I need to get to work if I don't get to work I don't get a paycheck and so that is what kind of thrust me into the world of personal finance so my auto loan I thought it was my biggest downfall but it was really my biggest blessing and so when I started to learn I'm like okay well

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why don't I pay off.

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All of my debt I'm living paycheck-to-paycheck I'm Daniel living on my credit cards my mindset was it has to be better than this.

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The journey it may be rough a long but it has to be better than this hellhole that I'm living in and I think that is what really started my

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consistency when it came to paying off debt.

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Thank you so much for sharing that what you just said about the auto loan thinking that it was your downfall and how it really was kind of the the motivator for you to approach things differently like

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that hit me like that is just such a powerful reframe of approaching things differently and

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kind of taking some of your power back in that situation.

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Yeah and I get a lot of people that are like I'm bad with money or I'm just stupid with money I make stupid decisions but they don't realize.

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If you didn't make those decisions.

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You wouldn't know what you know now now you know what not to do you kind of kind of like a child you have to let them go through the motions of life because you can tell them all day long

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but it's not until they actually get in and experience those things that they gained that wisdom and then now they know how to move better now they know what to do and what not to do

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but I find what really keeps a lot of people stuck is that they just accept their you know their money mistakes.

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They don't use their failures as feedback they don't see it as a tool to strengthen their strategy and I think that's what keeps a lot of people stuck in that cycle

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oh my goodness we're like five minutes and you're getting us together already this is so it's so good

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what I was thinking of as you were saying that was just about different learning styles and how we can kind of learn things different ways and I do think money and finances is one of those things that we do kind of have to learn by doing it is a very

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dial.

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Process because you can you can read about it and you can have someone tell you certain things but until you do it and until you align your actions with

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with what's happening and where you want to be that's what really helps it soak in which is exactly what you described.

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Exactly I'm like you have to get in there it's all trial and error like there's no amount of books or podcast that you know you can absorb.

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You can absorb all day long but you have to actually get in there and start executing to figure out what's going to work for you and.

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Unique financial situation

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absolutely absolutely so I'd love to like pick up pick back up on your story from there so you at this point where you

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had your baby you had your car loan you were like okay this is not working so we're going to start doing something different at that point what did you do and what were some of the initial changes you started making.

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So the first step that I did was I created a budget I remember I ripped out a piece of paper from a little notebook I grabbed my pin and then I just started writing down what bills I was paying for a regularly as well as my income

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and that is when I realized that I was paying out a lot more than what I was bringing in so it was kind of like this aha moment because it's like.

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Well that's why I don't ever have any money that's why I don't ever have any money because I was a victim of that I don't know where my money is going

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you know line that we tell ourselves so I know I would get paid and I would pay my bills but because I wasn't strategically telling the rest of my money what to do.

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It was on a food.

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Mainly food you know other things like clothes and so that was step one and I know a lot of people

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turn their nose up when someone says budget.

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I don't know where this belief that a budget has to be super restricting that means you can never live your life or something like that I don't know where that came from

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but

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budget is key like you cannot elevate your financial situation if you don't tell your money what to do if you don't know where it's going if just making a plan for it and then the second step was I focus on one specific debt

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I am that person where I will lose focus really fast and I found that

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previously I was trying to do too much and I would get overwhelmed and frustrated and I quit and it's really really difficult.

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To feel like you're making progress financially if you got.

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Five million things that you're trying to do that means that your money is trying to be divided 5 million different ways and if it's not concentrated enough.

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It's going to feel like you're not making progress and you're going to feel behind.

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That's something I hear a lot that Sanic something that I used to say to myself I'm behind I should have had x amount saved up by this time x amount paid off by this time.

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So I always recommend to anyone focus on one thing so I focused on my auto loan until I got that paid down enough and then I got into mindset

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hmm I had to put myself again because you get to this point where.

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It's new it's super exciting you're pumped up but then after a while after a couple of months it's like.

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I'm in this like I I'm in the maintenance stage nothing exciting is happening and that's

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where a lot of people quit where I quit so I had to find ways to keep myself motivated and constantly remind myself of what I was trying to accomplish and why.

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And

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that came from me having to go back to you know childhood adolescence undoing all of those beliefs that were instilled in me from my

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my observations just so I could take back that power and authority to change my my spending habits because I found that I had these goals.

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But I have the same behavior and they were clashing constantly and so

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that was a journey I had to embark on as well that lets like highlight exclamation point that is such a good

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good point right there with the goals one when we're working towards multiple different things and trying to do all these different things at once just how overwhelming that can be and how discouraging that can be and too

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when we do have those moments where we realize our actions and our goals are in opposition and and getting them on the same page to stay motivated is so important I think especially.

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For financial goals as opposed to other you know types of goals that we set because

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that is truly the only way that you're going to reach it is by having your actions aligned

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yeah I say you're in a battle with your previous self yeah your journey has really nothing to do.

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With the money side of it which was something surprising that I discovered when I actually became debt-free I'm like whoa.

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I thought I was on a journey to improve my finances really I was on a journey to change myself and my finances just you know

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there were a product of that them improving I had to change myself here in a constant fight with your previous self and the self that you need to be to hit these financial goals

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yeah and a lot of deprogramming and working through different conditioning when you were describing about how when you went to school and having these classmates who had these like fancy cars.

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I could relate so much my when I went to college I went to college with a bunch of very rich.

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People and I was like how did I end up here but for a lot of us that that conditioning is that to have

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things is a status of either success or wholeness and that can be really hard to work through that and to start to value.

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Different things it does take a lot of like rewiring our brains and rewiring our values.

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Exactly me now I always say the the Diana six to eight years ago she would scream

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if she saw me now she would scream like I had to strip myself down completely

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throughout my entire debt free Journey because I couldn't afford you know to get my hair done I couldn't afford all of the fancy clothes and shoes that I had I had to face the person in the mirror.

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And be okay with her without hiding behind all of these things and I think that was the toughest part of the journey it's not the strategy that you're using it's not the budget is you actually

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like you were saying unlearning all of these things and being okay with who you are in the mirror in your Ross truest form without hiding behind the things that you thought that you couldn't live without before yeah whoo.

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Woohoo that is the hard stuff but so true what you're saying is so so true and

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that is the stuff that is a lot harder than making the budget and sticking to the budget because those things aren't hard but it's what your mind tells you while you're trying to stick to it that's hard.

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Yeah and it's like we get so caught up in that

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I find that people they taste all their progress because they're like well I don't know what what do I start with.

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How do I create this budget you have to trust that you know what's best for your unique financial situation because you do but it's because the you have maybe made some money mistakes

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in the past so you're constantly thinking that you're going to make the same mistakes and you don't trust yourself but when you start moving your feet.

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And actually give yourself permission to make decisions about your finances.

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You're going to start gaining that trust right because it's like you're going into contract with yourself and the more you stay consistent.

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The more you're proving to yourself that you can be trusted and then you kind of like let go of those paths money mistakes that you made that you kept.

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You know using as a reason to affirm why you can't do something.

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If that makes sense oh yeah that's so helpful building that trust within yourself and forgiving yourself for those those money mistakes I know that's something I've had a really hard time with and

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I really.

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Just take what you just said too hard it was very very helpful for me that's the hard part that we don't like to talk about it's like it may be a lot easier to start.

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With the budget and you know the debt payoff then to actually.

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Do the internal work so that may be why we focus so much on it I may be speaking for myself but

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is kind of like you don't want to face what's going on behind closed doors so as long as everything looks good on the outside it's like

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we're going to close the door and we'll deal with that on our own time that was me 100% but I

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I say that my journey really didn't start taking off

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until I did the internal work because money management is all I say it's all Behavior normally they say about 80/20.

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I say it's all it's all Behavior because you're going to spin in alignment.

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With your how you're feeling your emotions your beliefs that all plays a role and it's all very mental it's a mental game if you can master your mind you can master your money

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oh my goodness that's that's just the whole podcast right there all right episode we did know

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that's so true because even I think about you know there's so many stories and examples like I like reading the refinery29 money diaries that that series.

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It stresses me out but I do like to read it and there's so many examples of people who actually make like a lot of money I mean more money than me and I read through what they're doing with it and I'm like.

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Why the math is not math thing like why you make this but you're like

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what's what's happening but that that's that behavior aspect like you can make tons but if your behavior and actions don't align you can lose to.

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Yes I don't know why we have this belief that.

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If you're making a lot of money you don't struggle financially or that your struggles aren't as valid as someone else's

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I the women that I've coached they make like four or five times the amount that I make

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but yet they're coming to me and they're trusting me to help them shift their finances
today's conversation is sponsored by open and I cannot stop singing the Praises of this

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this time of year I start going inward to really refine my habits and practices maybe it's like a Virgo season thing or

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the start of a new school year and I've been feeling called to really prioritize my mindfulness practices that's why I committed to doing the September challenge taking breath work

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meditation and yoga classes with open.

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Open is a digital mindfulness platform combining breathwork meditation and movement and it's my go-to app to help me get centered when I'm feeling overwhelmed and need to reconnect with myself.

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I absolutely love the.

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Music.

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Feeling connected with my breath speaking of breath can I confess that even though I've gone deep into the Wellness space and breath work has always really intimidated me.

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It was just uncomfortable I had a hard time getting into it at least until I started taking breathwork classes on open.

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Their classes are so inviting and approachable and easy to follow that it's really helped me get the amazing benefits breathwork has to offer.

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Music.

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Like to emphasize that it matters but it doesn't matter right because.

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You can't use that as a reason to stop you from going towards your goals and a lot of us like to do that we like to use reasons as you know as to why we can't go towards our goal why can't do it because I don't make enough money or

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something like that I'm not going to get too deep into it but you can accomplish a lot when your strategic with your money and I think that my story really got out there because I've never made six figures

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I've never made six figures the bulk of my journey I was making around 33 thousand dollars a year

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and then I moved up to about 50 thousand dollars a year the last two years and I still was able to live life and accomplish my goals because when you get good at mastering your mind and you

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get good at mastering where you're putting your money then.

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You'll find yourself in a better position it's just all about you having control and actually being in the driver's seat when it comes to telling your money what to do you have money to maximize.

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Even if you're a you know a McDonald's worker compared to an RN you have money to maximize it's just where you telling your money.

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To go mmm-hmm yeah and what are you telling your money to do hmm yeah God said

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give it a job otherwise it's going to run away from you and you're going to be wondering where it's going and it's obviously not going to you your Drew trying to find it so

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paying off debt really helped it really helps to because.

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As an instant raised you don't have to give your money to someone else anymore absolutely you're coming up into the positive and especially you know the positive net worth I mean I remember graduating from college and the amount of student debt that I had was like double.

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What my salary was and the time and that was.

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10 11 years ago and being like well what am I gonna do with this but it is interesting and when you take it one step at a time and one you know

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Milestone at a time or alone at a time or whatever what is possible and I was really proud to have paid off most of that

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before making a six-figure salary as well similar to what you were saying that it's possible

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sometimes just requires some movement and some creativity and the discipline and consistency I say that comes with it but like you have to be

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you have to have faith in yourself you have to trust yourself because in the journey that's what it is like your

00:25:07.666 --> 00:25:26.025
trusting yourself to get to this goal but if you're not willing to let go of everything that you once used as an excuse to not go towards something you're not going to get there because everything is going to be a reason as to why you should just stop like Ci

00:25:25.869 --> 00:25:29.077
I knew it was going to work because XYZ happen like.

00:25:29.236 --> 00:25:37.044
If you really have faith in yourself even if something goes wrong you still got your eye on the prize and that was me

00:25:36.969 --> 00:25:50.430
from moving my feet in the beginning when I started seeing progress I'm like okay I can do this like it's giving me more and more fuel the more debt that I'm knocking out and so I went into debt about four to five times

00:25:50.409 --> 00:25:56.867
what if I'm more times during my day free Journey but every single time I feel like every single time.

00:25:57.278 --> 00:26:10.604
That should have knocked me down that would have knocked the old Diana down I would have just thrown in the towel and sometimes I did I did want to I quitted my head a million times but something I said that that something and me still told me to keep

00:26:10.349 --> 00:26:14.997
keep going and to keep trying even when things were slowing down and that's faith.

00:26:15.201 --> 00:26:21.659
That's what faith is like you have a belief in something that's without fax in your hand saying that you're going to get there.

00:26:21.962 --> 00:26:34.010
If you just go with the belief that you're going to do it because you trusting yourself yeah I really appreciate that you shared that and showed that it's not always linear and that there can be different like

00:26:33.917 --> 00:26:39.492
maybe you detours are just different paths that we take on the journey it's not just like I'm going to

00:26:39.354 --> 00:26:48.765
no ball and every single time I'm going to add more it doesn't always work like that but as long as you're still generally moving in that direction

00:26:48.735 --> 00:26:58.541
it sounds like it can still make a big difference and we expect the journey to be linear because like I'm paying off the debt it's going to it's going to reduce what you have to remember.

00:26:58.727 --> 00:27:02.286
Life Is Life in especially right now like

00:27:02.283 --> 00:27:16.951
life is going to life you and I love Lauren London the way she put it like life is going to change chick you and it's going to change shake you you have to leave space and Grace for those moments and that kind of.

00:27:17.056 --> 00:27:23.207
Be proactive in and prepare for them like if something goes wrong what's my plan because

00:27:23.195 --> 00:27:32.002
something's going to go wrong that as long as you're living and breathing as long as your flesh something is going to kind of knock you off of your path but.

00:27:32.036 --> 00:27:39.808
What is your defense what are you going to use to get back to to the journey and I always go back to.

00:27:39.985 --> 00:27:47.261
Faith and trusting myself yes absolutely absolutely so important

00:27:47.232 --> 00:28:01.539
I love that we talked a bit about your experience with paying off your debt and how you really focused on your budget taking things one loan at a time working on one thing at a time I'd also love to talk about saving as well because

00:28:01.464 --> 00:28:04.483
having a six-month emergency fund is.

00:28:04.507 --> 00:28:17.509
Incredible and not a lot of people myself included are quite there yet so I'd also love to talk about your saving journey and what that has been like for you

00:28:17.326 --> 00:28:23.559
yeah it's so saving has been it's been they always been something that's that's very.

00:28:23.565 --> 00:28:31.390
Difficult for me or was very difficult for me so I had to find ways to save that didn't really feel like

00:28:31.271 --> 00:28:39.295
saving and I remember my first savings account was actually closed down they sent me a little five dollar check in the mail because

00:28:39.229 --> 00:28:50.935
I had transferred out of it so many times I was that person that would put too much money back because I would look at my account balance I would feel ashamed and anxious and I'm like

00:28:50.860 --> 00:28:54.472
I need to put money back so I would put too much back.

00:28:54.614 --> 00:29:06.337
And then I was the Walk of Shame when you're going back into the teller line and asking for a savings withdrawal slip a couple of days later because you realize you need that money back like you haven't given yourself enough time to.

00:29:06.451 --> 00:29:16.015
Build the you know the discipline that you need to be without it and so when I started my debt free journey I was actually saving at the same time

00:29:15.895 --> 00:29:24.450
now mind you it was not very much but looking back on it in hindsight I think it really helps me too

00:29:24.339 --> 00:29:35.694
get to the six-month emergency fund not because I was saving a lot of money I was saving $15 a paycheck so $30 a month but because it helped me build that habit so one thing

00:29:35.682 --> 00:29:38.961
that I've learned is that saving is not about.

00:29:39.220 --> 00:29:51.970
How much money you're putting back in your savings account it does not matter the amount that you're putting back in your savings account saving money is all about the habit of putting money aside and not touching it.

00:29:52.075 --> 00:29:53.401
And letting it sit.

00:29:53.479 --> 00:30:05.806
Unless you need it or it's an emergency you know and so because I was on a four-year-long debt free journey and I was saving money that got me into the habit of.

00:30:05.911 --> 00:30:15.646
Knowing money is here but not touching it and I think that having a budget is super key because you know that

00:30:15.481 --> 00:30:24.648
with the income that you have your able to cover all your expenses so whatever you're putting in your savings that's going to fit within your income.

00:30:24.834 --> 00:30:32.813
It should fit comfortably as long as you got your numbers right and also I think with with saving.

00:30:33.053 --> 00:30:38.179
Money you have to get creative sometimes

00:30:38.167 --> 00:30:48.090
especially if you are low-income so going through the Journey of paying off debt obviously the more debt that I was knocking out

00:30:47.889 --> 00:31:06.752
the more money that I was making so I was slowly you know increasing my my automatic contribution I think I got to like fifty dollars at the end of my debt free Journey $50 a paycheck so $100 a month one thing that really helped me that kind of caused a little bit of uproar

00:31:06.614 --> 00:31:10.425
after my debt free Journey was my savings Journey it was.

00:31:10.584 --> 00:31:19.697
Strategically using my extra money and that was something that I did you know throughout my debt free journey to so if it was an incentive I bonus from work.

00:31:19.820 --> 00:31:30.140
I'm setting that money aside if it's the stimulus check I'm setting that money aside not all of it but a portion of it so I feel like that is important too

00:31:29.957 --> 00:31:38.350
with my journey it was a lot easier towards the end when I took saving seriously because of that habit but also because once again.

00:31:38.563 --> 00:31:46.173
I don't have any debt so I can I can increase my contributions and I don't need it because

00:31:46.098 --> 00:31:52.870
yeah I've gotten to the point where I don't really owe anyone anything and I keep my living expenses very very low

00:31:52.777 --> 00:32:02.170
okay oh yes there's so many things in here that I want to like come back to that we're so good one what you said about saving being.

00:32:02.194 --> 00:32:13.278
More of a habit than it is a number so not worrying about how much we're saving each time but the act of doing it no matter how much or how little

00:32:13.168 --> 00:32:19.976
like the act of actually doing it and physically saving is more important which I

00:32:19.910 --> 00:32:24.225
absolutely love love that and then the point you also just made.

00:32:24.744 --> 00:32:34.281
The importance of also still be able to live your life and still being able to like enjoy things I appreciate that's something that I'm working on too because I

00:32:34.251 --> 00:32:41.726
have naturally always aired on being a bit more on The Frugal side and sometimes feel a lot of guilt when it comes to.

00:32:41.750 --> 00:32:54.896
Enjoying things or if I do get like a bonus spending a little bit of it on like fun stuff versus you know paying off debt or whatever is like the guilt around that is something that I have really struggled with how do you work through

00:32:54.893 --> 00:33:00.054
maybe some of those feelings honestly that was something.

00:33:00.060 --> 00:33:06.050
That I struggle with after I paid off debt I feel like my debt free Journey

00:33:06.020 --> 00:33:20.390
I like built a brand around it and everything I my identity was my debt free journey and I was extremely Frugal during my debt free Journey but what I realized when I paid off debt it was like who am I.

00:33:20.604 --> 00:33:28.195
I had this money now I don't have to give it away I kind of had like an identity crisis and.

00:33:28.453 --> 00:33:34.515
I now have this money that I could use on things outside of dead or saving.

00:33:34.638 --> 00:33:49.495
And it was really extremely hard to do that like I was used to sewing holes in my clothes to make them last longer the kids clothes came from consignment sales and things like that and so one thing that really helped me.

00:33:49.627 --> 00:33:54.887
Was setting a portion of my budget specifically for.

00:33:55.055 --> 00:33:59.730
Personal spending and it wasn't a lot of money I kind of kept it.

00:33:59.790 --> 00:34:07.031
Quite small just so I could feel like some sense of normalcy of me having this small amount of money.

00:34:07.163 --> 00:34:19.049
To use by because I know that all of my expenses were paid my goals still had the contribution that they needed to hit them on time I felt okay

00:34:18.956 --> 00:34:21.102
spending that money

00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:34.515
and it was me having to constantly remind myself that it's okay to spend money on things that aren't a necessity I grew up with a single mom I heard a lot of.

00:34:34.584 --> 00:34:43.103
We don't have it we don't have it right now or having to leave grocery carts full of groceries at the front of the store because the the check

00:34:42.992 --> 00:34:55.769
balanced and so every little thing that we had had to be used strategically because we didn't have a lot so journaling was something that really helped me to I had to go back and heal that inner child.

00:34:55.875 --> 00:35:02.251
I had to go back and heal my mother that was coming out of me in order for me to take back you know

00:35:02.248 --> 00:35:11.433
power and authority over how I spent my money because my beliefs weren't my own and so I really really do recommend.

00:35:11.448 --> 00:35:16.799
Set aside something in your budget even if it's just ten dollars for a coffee.

00:35:16.985 --> 00:35:23.712
It's okay to go to Starbucks once a week or you know whenever you need a pick-me-up and then the more that you do it.

00:35:23.854 --> 00:35:31.625
You're going to feel uncomfortable in the beginning but the more that you do it the more that you kind of like let down those

00:35:31.542 --> 00:35:39.601
those walls that you have up those reservations that you have towards it and the long-term benefit is you allowing yourself.

00:35:39.797 --> 00:35:48.307
To live your life without having the shame and guilt around it so many helpful gems in there that are both.

00:35:48.331 --> 00:36:00.199
Tactical and kind of getting into our spirit and our mind and our heart so having that kind of set aside part of our budget that's discretionary spending is super helpful so that

00:36:00.007 --> 00:36:04.097
that is like a line item just like anything else that we can do to you

00:36:04.004 --> 00:36:10.236
free I love love love that and then also what you talked about about journaling and going back and

00:36:10.098 --> 00:36:19.680
again kind of reprogramming some of that messaging from from the upbringing and healing some of that inner child is also super important and I

00:36:19.659 --> 00:36:35.550
no secret that I love journaling so when you guys excited when you were doing those things and reflecting on that where you letting yourself just kind of free right we're there any kind of prompts or questions that you like to ask yourself or recommend what does that look like

00:36:35.350 --> 00:36:45.867
so in the beginning I did start with like a few prompts but I found that whenever I was feeling really anxious or whenever I was coming up on a trigger

00:36:45.666 --> 00:36:52.520
of mine I would Journal through it and a lot of the times I would find a solution to my trigger

00:36:52.508 --> 00:37:04.916
through the pages that I was writing but some of the times like when you're coming up on that anxious moment I recommend kind of interrogating yourself it's like you and you are sitting in front of each other.

00:37:05.030 --> 00:37:11.488
And you're asking questions think of yourself as your friend if your friend is feeling this way about something.

00:37:11.593 --> 00:37:20.715
What would you ask her to get to the root cause and then you kind of go through and write those questions why am I feeling this way.

00:37:20.847 --> 00:37:24.910
What will it hurt for me to spend five dollars on a coffee.

00:37:25.294 --> 00:37:32.328
What is this thing that I have with coffee going on like what are these emotions coming from and then.

00:37:32.469 --> 00:37:40.286
You kind of like switch the fear around to kind of use it as fuel will if I'm afraid that.

00:37:40.319 --> 00:37:52.250
I'll feel guilty about buying a 5 Dollar coffee because what if my electric bill is higher if your electric bill is higher will you still feel those same emotions so did it really help you to not

00:37:52.157 --> 00:38:00.964
by that five dollar coffee did it really save you from feeling that shame and that that anxiety but I always recommend

00:38:00.943 --> 00:38:10.560
just talk to yourself if you have to talk to yourself out loud do it the questions that you would ask your friends ask yourself and journal through it and it

00:38:10.450 --> 00:38:16.925
kind of gives you time for your impulses to subside as you can like think logically before you go out and make a purchase

00:38:16.850 --> 00:38:22.570
yes oh my goodness okay I'm going to everybody gets home work who's listening you're gonna

00:38:22.441 --> 00:38:34.660
tonight or tomorrow morning you're gonna go in your journal and you're going to start reflecting on that and just getting curious and asking yourself questions about how you feel about your finances the same way you would ask a friend I love.

00:38:34.810 --> 00:38:39.539
Love that approach necessary definitely most definitely

00:38:39.473 --> 00:38:48.721
so I'm also curious just when it comes to you and your financial habits are you do like spreadsheet girly are you I can.

00:38:48.772 --> 00:38:53.222
Girly what does your money management look like these days

00:38:53.021 --> 00:39:07.509
so I will say I've tried everything so I've got my toe dipped in a little bit of everything but what I found I had to like stick to my core like I had to really stick to me so the apps.

00:39:07.794 --> 00:39:18.330
If you're a technology person I feel like that would work but if you're someone like that is Hands-On and you're more visual it kind of takes like the intimacy out of it.

00:39:18.399 --> 00:39:23.011
Because everything is being done for you so I'm not a nap person

00:39:22.801 --> 00:39:28.637
I am a spreadsheet person 50/50 I kind of a go-between

00:39:28.481 --> 00:39:37.297
pen and paper and spreadsheet so I use both of them that kind of like join in holy matrimony so I have my monthly budget in a spreadsheet

00:39:37.159 --> 00:39:50.152
just because I don't feel like doing the math I wanted to do the math for me but then when it comes to like my paycheck and my money routine I am a pen and paper person so I'll check my account balances

00:39:50.087 --> 00:40:01.279
on pen and paper whatever needs to be moved around I've got to do that on paper but then it kind of helps to see what my total should be in that spreadsheet.

00:40:01.376 --> 00:40:04.988
So that's kind of how my my thing is right now

00:40:04.832 --> 00:40:22.462
love that I also am like a very Hands-On person and I like going through expense by expense like what was I doing what was I thinking where were we at what is this charge I like doing that investigation having it be to automated makes it easy to master for me

00:40:22.279 --> 00:40:31.338
because it removes you from is kind of like you're separated from your own Financial you know situation going on and I got to be like Hands-On so.

00:40:31.497 --> 00:40:44.103
You know what my personal funds I've got to use cash try the card I lost my mind with the card so now I am back to cash because I need some type of some type of visual to keep me in check in that area

00:40:44.028 --> 00:40:46.444
yeah definitely definitely.

00:40:46.477 --> 00:40:59.524
And what I love about the way you teach and the way you share is how much you also encourage people to do what works for them whether that is a budgeting method that there are many ways to do that whether that is like a debt payoff.

00:40:59.530 --> 00:41:00.469
Method

00:41:00.421 --> 00:41:14.999
that there are so many different ways that we can do it and that if something doesn't work it doesn't mean that there's necessarily something wrong with you but it means maybe you need another method that you can try so like for people who love apps and things at the tip of their fingers.

00:41:15.041 --> 00:41:26.414
Beautiful and if you are like us it sounds like and you need a little bit more tactile you need to get in there a little bit more than in doing things manually could also be a great option yeah

00:41:26.339 --> 00:41:39.503
I wish I would have had someone when I was like trying to find someone whose story looked like mine that said just do what works yeah I try to teach people or get them to see that.

00:41:39.518 --> 00:41:48.478
You have the tools that you need you just kind of need to trust yourself if something doesn't feel right don't.

00:41:48.638 --> 00:41:50.774
Do it because it's not

00:41:50.663 --> 00:42:01.522
going to work for you your financial situation is your financial situation and you should have the power and authority to say that this doesn't work for me

00:42:01.349 --> 00:42:08.211
or allow yourself to tweak a money tip that you found online like you're not going to go to jail for doing it

00:42:08.028 --> 00:42:11.668
I know that everyone has their thing like you know as a

00:42:11.521 --> 00:42:20.869
especially as a creator online everyone has their strategy but mine is just more so go to do what works for you here are the tools

00:42:20.785 --> 00:42:29.961
pick what you need and that gives them the confidence that they need to start making these decisions for themselves definitely yeah and it.

00:42:30.039 --> 00:42:44.850
I think it also probably helps build that self-trust like we were talking about earlier where it's like not relying on this method or this other person's way of doing things to have the answers but like taking what you need and finding the answers that work for you

00:42:44.668 --> 00:42:47.695
yes 100% so good

00:42:47.620 --> 00:43:05.204
I would also like to talk about motherhood and how your financial Journey impacts you know how you talk to your kids about money and how you teach them about money if you have tips you know we do definitely have listeners who are moms and who may be interested in like figuring out how to talk to their kids about money

00:43:05.022 --> 00:43:13.991
so how has that been for you yeah I say it's always a journey yeah especially with my oldest she's nine and so I noticed

00:43:13.907 --> 00:43:23.911
it's crazy to see the different seasons that they're in because when I started they too much into my debt free journey I got pregnant with my side but she was very young she was

00:43:23.792 --> 00:43:34.624
for so it was a little it's a lot easier when they're younger I would say that because they're not really picking up on what's going on but one thing that I will say is that I'm very open

00:43:34.468 --> 00:43:41.736
the dialogue is very open and my home she knows pretty much everything that goes on with my my financial situation because I'm

00:43:41.688 --> 00:43:48.830
purposely exposing her to it I find that I know in the black community especially.

00:43:48.908 --> 00:43:59.578
Finances are very hush-hush it's kind of rude to talk about finances there may be a sense of Shame talking about finances but you really doing them a disservice because.

00:43:59.783 --> 00:44:01.676
The world revolves around money

00:44:01.646 --> 00:44:13.262
and they turn 18 you thrust them out into this world that revolves around money and now they're struggling like trying to figure it out in a lot of us get trapped in this trial and error face.

00:44:13.358 --> 00:44:18.213
For so long we miss out on the time that we need time is an asset

00:44:18.102 --> 00:44:31.230
to build wealth yeah and so we're at the bottom of the totem pole and you know when it comes to to wealth so it's a home ownership and I'm not quite sure of it but I think that that plays a role in it so

00:44:31.110 --> 00:44:41.088
even when I didn't really know a lot I'm still not hip to all the financial lingo but I would teach her as I was going

00:44:41.058 --> 00:44:42.546
whatever you're learning.

00:44:42.723 --> 00:44:51.062
Teach them as you go you don't have to know everything just teach them as you go and you want to bring it down to their age level

00:44:50.951 --> 00:45:01.145
what is it that they're interested in that you can incorporate some type of money lesson into when you're at the grocery store you can let them compare prices tell them what the budget is.

00:45:01.286 --> 00:45:11.560
Let them compare prices and let them keep up with the total depending on how old they are and one thing that I like to do with my daughter she knows if she wants something.

00:45:11.720 --> 00:45:21.274
She's going to say for it like she's got to save for it so visuals kids are very visual color charts their free online now.

00:45:21.415 --> 00:45:35.930
They're amazing even if they're not saving up for anything if you're paying off a credit card or something bring them on that Journey with you let them be a part of that goal and they can be the ones to visually like be Hands-On and color in the color chart.

00:45:36.035 --> 00:45:43.087
That's something that we did with my debt free board whenever I was paying off debt and I had a client.

00:45:43.318 --> 00:45:51.224
Her daughter was a teenager and she was actually the one that kept her accountable so she was the accountability partner

00:45:51.204 --> 00:45:58.183
she allowed her to be in on the budgeting process and sometimes I'll do that with my daughter for budgeting for

00:45:58.081 --> 00:46:05.970
something in particular I will sit down and we'll create the budget together but she knew that her mom was budgeting

00:46:05.886 --> 00:46:18.870
and so she took her on the journey with her and she was actually the one to tell her mom fast food it's not in the budget and I thought that that was amazing to kids are not always going to do as you do.

00:46:18.922 --> 00:46:25.037
I will do as you say I should say but they're going to do as you do so just you.

00:46:25.250 --> 00:46:38.018
Continuing on the journey they're going to see that they're going to pick up on that even if you don't think that they're they're looking and listening you being that person to make good financial decisions in front of them

00:46:37.898 --> 00:46:46.246
they're going to pick up on that because we pick up on our you know our parents habits when we start going through the Journey realizing we blow money like our dad.

00:46:46.388 --> 00:46:56.302
We say we don't have money like our mom we have to scarcity mindset like Grandma so what do you think is going to happen when you when you start making better decisions though pick up on it

00:46:56.245 --> 00:47:06.718
oh my goodness there was so many good tips and there I'm like I don't even have kids yet but I'm like yes I'm going to keep keep all of this in there I love what you said about.

00:47:06.769 --> 00:47:12.722
Teaching them as you learn and not putting pressure on yourself to be a financial Guru before you talk to kids about it.

00:47:13.061 --> 00:47:26.045
They don't know what are they going to do you wrong they don't know their learning as well so letting them learn along with you I think it's just so so good in such a great idea like the grocery shopping tip love that just

00:47:25.925 --> 00:47:30.628
keeping them really engaged in it and understanding the concept of money.

00:47:30.778 --> 00:47:40.737
Because I also had a similar kind of upbringing where I didn't feel like I necessarily heard money outside of the context of there not being enough for something that was that was all.

00:47:41.022 --> 00:47:54.861
Only messaging about money that I heard for a long time as what there wasn't enough for but not much exposure to like how we use it how we manage it and so giving them a really holistic picture of that.

00:47:54.985 --> 00:47:58.715
I just love the way you described it when you said that that kind of.

00:47:58.928 --> 00:48:10.084
Makes me realize we have a lot of negativity around money like we only hear about it as kids when we don't have enough of it or when we're spending too much of it yeah yeah

00:48:10.037 --> 00:48:16.206
I get it it's it's incredibly important to expose them to the good side of it.

00:48:16.266 --> 00:48:22.859
When you did save enough when you did you know stick to your budget just so money is not something.

00:48:22.874 --> 00:48:26.450
That you run away from or causes pain.

00:48:26.907 --> 00:48:34.111
It's something that's empowering I think is incredibly important oh my gosh yes especially.

00:48:34.172 --> 00:48:37.857
For women and girls I would say in

00:48:37.764 --> 00:48:51.117
also taking a very active role in our finances whether we are you know teenagers adults partnered not being in the driver's seat when it comes to our money can leave

00:48:51.069 --> 00:48:54.826
women and girls so vulnerable to

00:48:54.760 --> 00:49:05.539
just so much hardship and it's really really important that we are actively engaged in the financial discussions absolutely like I had.

00:49:05.545 --> 00:49:13.659
It was kind of sad how many women came to me especially when I was starting to share my story that

00:49:13.629 --> 00:49:25.361
we're saying that they wanted to leave a situation or they're telling me hey I'm trying to pay off debt save money do you have any tips for me because they're trying to leave a relationship and

00:49:25.359 --> 00:49:34.328
how I sit and think like God I could not imagine being trapped in a situation with someone.

00:49:34.577 --> 00:49:36.740
I'll because I couldn't afford to leave.

00:49:36.935 --> 00:49:49.271
All because I couldn't afford to leave like we do our young girls a disservice by being tight-lipped about money and thinking that they're just going to go out and buy a you know marry a rich man or something

00:49:49.260 --> 00:49:51.072
talk to your daughters.

00:49:51.483 --> 00:50:02.271
Let them be Hands-On gift them it doesn't have to be an allowance I know that you know everyone has their own values when it comes to Parenting give them opportunities to earn.

00:50:02.403 --> 00:50:10.481
So that what you're teaching them they could be Hands-On with it so that it sticks you know but but teach your young girls.

00:50:10.883 --> 00:50:17.170
How to make their own money how to manage their own money there's so much power that comes with that because.

00:50:17.392 --> 00:50:26.883
There's so many women out here that are stripped of their power solely based on them not having enough money to leave a situation that's not serving them

00:50:26.817 --> 00:50:41.710
it's so true it breaks my heart I mean Financial abuse is so so real and it is the number one reason why a lot of people in abusive situations don't leave is because they can't afford to and I think

00:50:41.671 --> 00:50:55.951
as much as we can educate and Empower and support ourselves and one another to not be in that situation and to have ways out of those situations the better because it is just it breaks my heart.

00:50:56.137 --> 00:51:09.320
Absolutely breaks my heart we're shifting yes I love to see the shift out here so we've just got to keep pushing definitely more conversations like this talking openly talking openly about it is so important.

00:51:09.407 --> 00:51:13.929
I thought it was so crazy how everyone would always tell me thank you for being transparent.

00:51:14.007 --> 00:51:19.672
And I'm like why does everyone keep saying that is there no one else out here talking about it but.

00:51:19.822 --> 00:51:29.422
I've been in the community for so long that's my Norm that I didn't realize that no it's not really being talked about yeah enough.

00:51:29.536 --> 00:51:39.522
It's not and it's something that I hope through continued conversations like this changes through those open open talks about it absolutely

00:51:39.393 --> 00:51:53.368
so Diana this was so helpful if I feel like you just gave us so many gems on gems on tips like this is going to be one of those episodes that I'm excited to refer back to what's next for you how can our audience.

00:51:53.608 --> 00:51:57.599
If you how can they follow you how can we support you

00:51:57.587 --> 00:52:08.923
yes so well my main platform is Instagram that's my BFF that's at money boss Mama I'm also on YouTube that's Diana with the why Marie.

00:52:08.957 --> 00:52:13.263
So you can join my community on YouTube I that is more so

00:52:13.125 --> 00:52:29.098
showing you how to manage your finances in real life so Vlogs and things like that so you can actually see me applying the tips that I share with you on Instagram I also have a 7-Day spinning challenge it's just a mini course to

00:52:28.870 --> 00:52:33.878
help you go from emotional spending being out of control very important to

00:52:33.686 --> 00:52:44.528
controlled spinning I am a recovered shopaholic so I am walking you through that process and very soon we will be doing one-on-ones again so

00:52:44.489 --> 00:52:49.236
definitely DM me shoot me a DM I am always responding back

00:52:49.152 --> 00:53:04.360
amazing so much good stuff so we'll make sure that we have your IG your YouTube and the spending challenge Linked In the show notes to make it easy for people to find you and learn from you thank you so much again this was so helpful I really appreciate it

00:53:04.204 --> 00:53:08.221
no thank you so much I was like

00:53:08.156 --> 00:53:17.503
this is less thank you for having me this was a blessing oh thank you so much for joining me.

00:53:17.360 --> 00:53:23.120
Music.

00:53:22.964 --> 00:53:32.483
Amazing talking to her really inspires me to stay on top of my finances to check out my numbers and to have a strategy with spending and saving

00:53:32.471 --> 00:53:41.521
head to the show notes to connect with Diana to check out our budgeting templates and our episode resources that we talked about in today's episode.

00:53:41.590 --> 00:53:52.135
Huge thanks to our sponsors this week including open my favorite meditation app if you haven't yet definitely head to the show notes to get your free 30-day trial to open

00:53:52.114 --> 00:54:04.342
the classes are life-changing and amazing way to Kickstart your mindfulness Journey we always have our discount codes from our amazing sponsors Linked In the show notes so head there because they are hooking you up each.

00:54:04.807 --> 00:54:14.550
Next week we're talking about having a healthy money mindset and becoming recession-proof so hit the Subscribe button so you can tune in to the episode as soon as it.

00:54:15.232 --> 00:54:25.767
If you liked this episode make sure to leave us a rating and review on Apple podcast or Spotify that goes such a long way in supporting the show helping us get our amazing guests and spreading a word.

00:54:25.818 --> 00:54:28.387
So thanks again for tuning in and I'll talk.

00:54:28.240 --> 00:54:43.854
Music.