Taking Your Power Back

Whew… The Connection Series really had the Balanced Black Girl team rethinking alot. From discovering how to let people show up for us, to learning what it means to have a healthy relationship with ourselves, tea was spilled, and truths were told. I hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. Today we are kicking off a new series all about Taking Your Power Back + Dreaming Big. In the upcoming episodes we are going to talk to an amazing set of guests about the various ways we can individually and collectively take our power back, and achieve our dreams.

As we kick off off our series on ‘Taking Your Power Back’ I want to take a moment to chat with you a bit about what taking my power back has meant to me, offer some perspective that is (hopefully) helpful for you, and talk a bit more about what this series is going to entail.

Tune in to for some vulnerable one on one time with me and learn what you can expect in our new series.

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EPISODE SPONSOR: LOVERS AND FRIENDS

Become your own relationship expert by tuning into the Lovers and Friends podcast hosted by Shan Boodram on Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, Pandora, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WHY I’M A FAN: I’ve loved Shan’s content for years, and with Lovers and Friends she delivers yet again. So much content around relationships can be boring and dry but Lovers and Friends is engaging and empowering.

EPISODE SPONSOR: MILK + HONEY

Milk + Honey offers incredible spa-quality skin and body care products. Use the code BALANCED to enjoy 20% off your next order of skincare and body products at milkandhoney.com.

WHY I’M A FAN: milk + honey takes clean beauty to a whole new level. Their products are gentle, effective, and make me feel like I’m having a spa moment right at home.

HIGHLIGHTS

FEAR

Recently on the BBG Instagram (the real one y’all – we actually have a few imposters on Instagram which has been super frustrating) we shared a quote there that said “worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace.” And that quote resonated so deeply with me because I’ve been struggling a lot with fear. With that in mind, I’m going to get really honest with you.

When it comes to Balanced Black Girl, this podcast, social media, I have been consumed by fear. The podcast has had an incredible year. It has grown immensely and now reaches millions of people which blows my mind to even say or comprehend that scale.

However, the bigger this show has gotten, the more fearful I have become around how I show up. I’m really afraid to mess up. I’m really afraid to misstep and mis-speak. Because the more people you have paying attention to what you’re doing, the harder it can be when you mess up. And the last thing I would ever want to do is offend anyone, or disappoint anyone, and knowing that the bigger the audience, the harder it is to please everyone has been debilitating. Now I know we can never make everyone happy nor am I trying to.

So when I think about taking my power back from that fear, I think about the early days. Our last episode came out on our 3 year anniversary and three years ago, y’all I was FIRED UP. I had this fire, and this passion around making sure that we felt seen and heard and well and respected. I am absolutely as passionate about that today as I was then, but I do miss the fearlessness I had in the early days. It’s really easy to be fearless when no one is listening. Lately I have been feeling a lot of fear over, how did I sound? How am I being perceived? What if people don’t like this episode? I have been getting some stage fright. Reminding myself of Day 1 of BBG, that mission, and that fire, has helped me feel more grounded and continue showing up.

That’s just my example, but I think that happens a lot. It’s a recipe for self-sabotage. Where we get an amazing opportunity. We get to do the thing, and then we get scared and we ruin it for ourselves. I don’t want to ruin this so I’m treading lightly, but it makes me feel like taking our power back can look like saving ourselves from self-sabotage. There is a big difference between awareness and fear. We want to move with conviction, to be smart and savvy. However, we can’t mistake that for fear. Moving with conviction, and savviness feels powerful. It feels solid. Fear is all-consuming. Because we often worry about things that haven’t happened yet. And that may not happen at all. Taking our power back is knowing when and how to channel that fear.

CREATING ‘ME’ TIME IN A WORLD OF SCREENS AND INFLUENCE

At the time I’m recording this, we are just coming off of the Facebook and Instagram foolishness, where those platforms along with WhatsApp were taken down for a day and what that revealed to so many of us about our relationships with screens and media and social media. Personally, I have been spending less and less time on Instagram, and am focused on expanding my work beyond the platform, however, I was still definitely reflecting on the role social media and screen time particularly on my phone plays in my life.

It got me thinking that many of us could benefit from taking our power back from our screens and how we are influenced by what we see. So many of our wants, opinions, and desires are influenced by social media. Listen, I’m one to talk. I’ve been an “influencer” for years, social media is one of the main platforms I’ve used to grow this brand, working with sponsors is how we keep things running around here, so I am aware of the role I have played in that for people. I’m also allowing space to think and dream about what a healthy in-between looks like for many of us. The fact of the matter is, that is how we connect with one another, that is how we learn new information, for people who have businesses, it is an integral part of business and I don’t see that changing. So let’s create ways for all of that to be true, while also allowing healthy boundaries around our screens and how we are influenced by them.

Along with that point, I’ve been saying no a lot lately because I’m cleaning house when it comes to getting things off my plate. With invitations and requests, I have consistently said “I’m unable to make it, but I appreciate you thinking of me” and that boundary has been so helpful for me. Saying no lovingly and apologetically is an integral aspect of taking our power back. In addition to asking for help! You take your power back when you take your time back. You don’t have to do everything.

FEMINISM AND YOUR WORLD VIEW

Lastly, I touch on understanding how we fit into the world. Exploring our own definition of feminism and how feminism intersects with wellness, and how the two things can lead us to liberation.

We take our power back by understanding and being critical of the systems at play and our roles within these systems. It is important to be able to spot those instances of sexism, anti-blackness, fatphobia, homophobia, bias, etc. while also recognizing that is not a reflection of us, and who we need to be. Rather it’s an invitation to look at the systems at play that prevents us from thriving and being our whole selves. When we stop seeing those instances as personal failures and start calling a spade a spade, we can stop picking ourselves apart and can truly take our power back.

I’m so excited for the rest of this series, we have some incredible guests coming who share amazing insights about dreaming big and taking your power back so make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss an episode. Head to show notes for information about this week’s sponsors. And head to our latest Instagram post @balancedblackgirlpodcast and let us know one way you’re taking your power back.

Next week, we are talking all about being multi-passionate, proving people wrong, and going after your dreams big and small with actress and author Asha Bromfield. Again, hit that subscribe button so you can listen as soon as the episode drops because you won’t want to miss it.